Guest blog: Getting a vasectomy was a great life choice

Image by the brilliant Stuart F Taylor

This week’s guest blogger is doing sterling work filling a gap in the market on advice and info. As he was getting his own vasectomy, he realised that there were far fewer personal accounts of the vasectomy procedure than there were for other forms of birth control – like post explaining IUD implantation, or the side effects of the pill. You do get occasional posts from heroic people who are happy to share their own vasectomy stories, but they’re few and far between (that link is the only one off the top of my head I can think of, someone else linked me to this video on non-surgical vasectomy – share yours in the comments if you have one too!). Having been through the process himself, this week’s guest blogger Big Spoon wanted to share his own experience with you: what it was like getting a vasectomy, the recovery afterwards, and answers to questions that I know blog readers will have like ‘how long until you can wank?’ and ‘at what point after a vasectomy do you find out it’s safe to have unprotected sex?’ Take it away Big Spoon…

Getting a vasectomy was one of my best life choices

My partner and I had been together for 10 years and were completely sure that neither of us wanted children. My partner had tried every sort of long term birth control, including the pill, the implant and coils (both hormonal and copper IUDs). Unfortunately all of them caused horrible side effects for her. It was when she enquired about getting sterilised at a sexual health clinic that I first thought about getting a vasectomy.

There were several factors that made me consider this. Firstly, my partner and I knew we never wanted children and after a bit of soul searching I concluded that I would feel the same even if I was not with her. I also didn’t want my partner to go through another traumatic experience after what she had already gone through with birth control. And most significantly for me, a vasectomy is less invasive, has a lower risk of complications and is more likely to be successful than female sterilisation.

Added to that, I had heard from multiple female friends that it was very difficult to get a sterilisation approved on the NHS because doctors did not trust them not to “change their mind”. I suspected that being a man I would get less pushback, which turned out to be right. This is of course an appalling example of institutional sexism but one for another conversation.

Having the procedure

I was still prepared for some pushback when I nervously booked a GP appointment. I took my partner to the appointment so that we could explain why we wanted a permanent birth control solution, and hopefully look like a couple with their shit together that can be trusted to make serious life decisions. My GP was quite nice about it and simply asked why I wanted the procedure and made sure that I understood it was effectively permanent (vasectomies can be reversed but reversals only have a 55% chance of success and are not funded by the NHS). He then agreed to refer me to a urologist.

My appointment with the urologist started with him drawing a sketch of a testicle to explain how a vasectomy works (I spotted this sketch in my medical notes in several follow up appointments, much to my amusement). He then repeated the line about the process being permanent and did a quick examination of my scrotum. I had barely done my trousers up again when he rather abruptly asked me whether I would prefer to have the procedure done under a local or a general anaesthetic, hinting that I may prefer a general with a vague reference to it being a “fiddly” procedure (I believe this was his polite way of saying that my balls are slightly smaller than average and would take longer to perform a vasectomy on). The whole appointment lasted about 10 minutes; the urologist’s abruptness and lack of pushback leaving me a little shaken afterwards.

About a month later I got a letter in the post with a surgery date. A few days before the date I got a call from the hospital to check I was still happy to go ahead.

I felt very anxious on the day of the operation because I had never had any sort of surgery before, not helped by not being allowed to eat or drink until afterwards. I spent all morning nervously waiting my turn in a hospital gown, a pair of compression stockings and some unsexy hospital pants until it was finally my turn for surgery. By the time I was making smalltalk with the anaesthetist and the anaesthetic was administered I just felt relieved that the wait was over.

I woke up 40 minutes later feeling a little hazy but surprisingly all right. It was only when I got up that I realised that someone had put me into what I would describe as an assless jock strap made of gauze – “scrotal support” I was later told. My balls felt tender and bruised, though not overly painful unless I moved around too much. All there was to show for the operation was a tiny little scar with three stitches and some large black bruises.

My vasectomy: recovery and follow-up

I had booked a week off work to recover but found that after a day in bed I was able to walk around more or less normally. I just made sure not to do anything too strenuous and, on the advice of the nurses at the hospital, wore tight pants for a week. The bruising looked brutal for a week but then quickly disappeared, as did the stitches and the scar. Within a month I couldn’t even find the scar anymore.

I had a first tentative, very gentle wank a week after the operation, while being cuddled by my partner. There was no blood in my cum as I had been warned to expect. It was not the best orgasm I had ever experienced but it was a relief to know that everything still functioned properly. I left it about another week before having sex with my partner to make sure I didn’t bash anything around too much.

It was another three months before I received a letter telling me to book two appointments a month apart to provide semen samples. Enclosed were two small plastic containers and a leaflet giving instructions on how to provide the samples – “by masturbation” after refraining from sexual activity for at least two days but no more than a week.

When I called to book my first appointment I was given the option of providing the sample in a special room at the hospital or at home. As curious as I was about what I will call the wank room (I read that each NHS fertility clinic spends on average £21.32 a year on porn magazines for these rooms), I decided to opt for wanking in the comfort of my own home. So on the appointed day I had a slightly embarrassed wank into a plastic container before rushing to the hospital (the samples have to be delivered within two hours of “production”), jizz filled container in my coat pocket. Repeat a month later – I stupidly asked for an 8:00am appointment at the hospital the second time, forgetting that this would necessitate a 7:00am wank. Luckily I’m a generally morning person, so I managed to pull it off.

Then came a frustrating two week wait for the results of my semen analysis, during which my partner and I raced to get the post every morning in the hope that there would be a letter from the hospital. Knowing that it was probably safe to have the unprotected sex we had been aching to have, but not having confirmation of it, was agonisingly frustrating.

Then at 9:30 on a Monday morning I finally received a curt letter from the hospital informing me that it was “now safe to cease using other forms of contraception if you wish to do so.” I immediately, and gleefully, went to wake my partner up with a cup of Earl Grey and my letter. We decided to postpone celebrating the news until later in the day to ensure we could make the most of it, as unlike me she’s not a morning person.

A couple of hours later she told me it was time to celebrate the good news. Normally we like to spend a long time warming up with oral sex and toys but we were in a hurry, so we made do with my partner having a quick wank with a clit vibe while having my cock in her mouth. The feeling when my cock first entered her cunt, having had to use condoms for nearly a year, was indescribably amazing. I had almost forgotten how much more sensitive unprotected sex felt. Coming inside her that first time, as we had both been dying for me to do, felt hotter than any of the kinky sex we have ever had.

Final thoughts

Overall I would say getting a vasectomy was one of the best life choices I have ever made. Knowing that I can have as much unprotected sex with my partner as we want, and that we will never have to worry about birth control or unwanted pregnancies, feels both liberating and hot as fuck. The whole procedure and recovery was nowhere near as scary or painful as I was expecting. Certainly a lot less bad than the pain and discomfort my partner has been through in the past 10 years in the name of contraception.

The only negative for me was the lack of guidance or advice I received when I was discharged. I was told to use contraception until I had completed two semen analysis tests but no one told me when it was safe to wank or have sex afterwards, so I had to work it out myself with a bit of internet research. I understand no one likes to talk about masturbation and sex but that taboo really needs to be broken when it involves a medical procedure that is inherently about having sex.

There is plenty of medical information about vasectomies online but relatively few accounts of people who have had one. I hope my story will help other people who are in the process of making this decision, and give you some background info about the before/during/after that demystifies the vasectomy procedure.



  • fuzzy says:

    When I got my vasectomy, I just got local anesthetic, took about 10 minutes for the actual procedure. I told the doc to “snip snip” far apart; i wanted this to be permanent permanent and take no chances. I was told to not masturbate for 3 days after the procedure, but then anytime I wanted was fine. I was also told that I would need to submit a sample anywhere from 4-8 weeks afterward, but that I really needed to ejaculate at least 20 times before I submitted the sample because you need to clear any sperm in the system completely out.

    30 days later I submitted a sample, and my “ejaculation chart” with 49 ejaculations listed. The attending nurse grinned at me, and said something on the lines of “well I see you were assiduous about following guidelines”, and he and i laughed together. I came up 100% sperm-free on the first sample.

    I have noticed no difference over time afterward, in any way. Including in amount of ejaculate, consistency, or in any other way — I still have the same normal variations I had before (some days I can spurt almost to the ceiling, some days I splosh out, some days it’s thick or thin or a lot or a little or whatever).

    It was very freeing to do this, and I encourage all males to go ahead and do this sooner rather than later. It is really easy to do, and it can make a huge difference to your partner(!!!!) and your mutual sex life. Had I known then what I know now, I could have done this a decade earlier and my life would have been simpler and more fun with less anxiety.

    Bon appetit!

    • Girl on the net says:

      Thank you so much for sharing, fuzzy! <3

    • Big Spoon says:

      Thanks for sharing your story. It is more common to have it done under a local anaesthetic, I only did it under a general because the urologist gave me the choice and recommended it. They made me wait four months before doing post vasectomy tests and insisted on doing two a month apart. I’m pretty sure 30 days would have been enough for me too but perhaps they are stricter about the timescale now.

      Also no noticeable difference for me when it comes to sex and ejaculation. I can’t even see the scar from the surgery, no matter how hard I look for it.

      Whether to get one is obviously a highly personal decision but I think men that know they don’t want children or more children should consider it.

  • Bob Hoskins says:

    Pleased your all good but in my experience it hurts at the time, and it hurts for months afterwards, the first few weeks were soul destroying. The pain eventually subsided but it took 3 months, loose fitting underwear is not an option anymore. WAH isn’t the preferred option of most clinics… not a great place to be.

    • Big Spoon says:

      I’m really sorry to hear that but that level of discomfort doesn’t sound right. It sounds like it could be a symptom of chronic scrotal pain – mentioned in the NHS link in the last paragraph.

      • Girl on the net says:

        Just seen these comments, thank you for responding BS. Bob – pls ask your doctor about this. I’m not sure what ‘WAH’ means from your comment, but I do know that pain like this is usually a sign that you may need further medical attention. Sorry to hear you have had this experience.

  • Hazelthecrow says:

    This is excellent information, thanks Big Spoon, fuzzy and GOTN for your tireless work making important things less taboo xx

  • FamilyGuy says:

    Very interesting article. It looks to be lot less painful than e.g. circumcision. I actually offered to my wife after we had enough children that I take vasectomy, but she refused – she said she couldn’t look at me the same way if I’m no longer fertile. So we keep on using other methods until she hits menopause. By the way, one of the nicer “side effects” of her pregnancies were (after her glorious curved body) that we didn’t need to use condoms at that time :-)

    But I have one question (at that time when I was reading on vasectomy, haven’t seen an answer): as far as I understand, after vasectomy the testicles keep on producing sperm cells, they just never make it into the ejaculation. What happens with those sperm cells?

    • Big Spoon says:

      I can’t comment on how the procedure compares to a circumcision but it really wasn’t that painful (granted that I was under a general anaesthetic while it happened) and the recovery was very easy for me.

      Whether to have one is obviously between you and your wife but I hope you don’t mind me saying that that seems an odd reason not to have one. If you don’t want any more children it should not matter whether you are fertile or not. It has no effect on your sex drive as it does not affect testosterone production.

      There’s nothing wrong with using other forms of contraception but the benefits of a vasectomy are that it’s permanent, low risk, is the most effective method of birth control and has no side effects, except in the small number of cases that have complications.

      You are correct that the testicles carry on creating sperm cells. The vasectomy stops those cells entering the ejaculate by severing the vas deferens. The sperm cells are then reabsorbed by the body.

      • fuzzy says:

        I would presume that his wife’s personal wiring is such that being fucked by a fertile man gives her a thrill, possibly from the *no matter how remote* notion that she might get pregnant, which might have just enough of a taboo / bad girl / mama’s teachings thing waaaay back in the root of her brainstem that it is primary turn-on point. He should be thankful she is enough aware of it to tell him; I’ve had lovers that once they became self-aware of their primary turn-on triggers tried to stamp them out and lost their libido in the process.

        Just a passing thought. I’ve known many more women who find a man with a vasectomy a serious turn-on than the other way around, but ….

  • Erin says:

    I’m honestly surprised they don’t talk about masturbation and sex after. After having a baby there was a discussion about sex and birth control at all 4 of my postnatal appointments, including whether I’d done it, and when I had, how it went. 😂

    • fuzzy says:

      my medical people in the US were not shy about it and openly discussed masturbation and sex with me; it was *they* (a female nurse that time) who suggested that keeping an ejaculatory journal was a good idea.

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