It is very very rare for me to stumble across weird sex that I haven’t already fantasised about, or seen elsewhere in porn, and as a result it took me a good long time to work out how to put this story down in words.
Get the Fleshlight, and a belt
He begins by telling me he wants to belt my thighs together, and the ‘yes’ is out of my mouth before he’s even finished the scenario. ‘Wait,’ he tells me, ‘be patient, it gets better.’ I’m a good girl, so I shut up and let him complete his thought. He’s right, it gets better. And then while we’re doing it, inspiration strikes, and it gets better than better: it gets weird.
Later that evening, we do it: he uses a canvas belt to strap my thighs tight together, with – here’s the ‘better’ bit – a Fleshlight clamped between them. Entrance to the Fleshlight sticking out just below where my cunt meets the top of my legs. I’m bent over on the bed, face pressed down into the duvet and hands supporting me. To my right is a mirror in which I can watch him start to fuck me. Well… not ‘me’, but the Fleshlight.
This is part of a game we’ve been playing a lot lately – where he makes me really desperate for his dick. He likes the pathetic way I’ll beg for him if I’m horny but haven’t been fucked. He likes to nurture the wetness between my legs, really ramp up the cunt ache with soft kisses and brutal slaps and the sound of his hand beating at his dick while I squirm and keen for him to put it in me.
So the logical next step is the Fleshlight. Clamped between my thighs at just the right height for him to penetrate, just close enough to my real cunt that my body aches with jealous longing. I watch him in the mirror, lubing it up. Rough hands pushing cold lubricant deep into the fake vagina, then doing the same to mine, in case he does change his mind and decides to give me what I want. The roughness is key to the first part of this weird sex – he treats my own cunt with exactly the same casual disregard he treats the Fleshlight.
I want to say that tonight I’m no more than a hole, but perhaps I’m not even that.
Perhaps he won’t even choose to use me, not when the Fleshlight is there.
Fucked but still empty
The sensation of the fuck is trippy and dreamlike and bizarre. Like being shagged while you’re numb from the waist down, only hyper-targeted to my cunt. I can still feel all the sensations of a good, hard fuck: his thighs slapping against my arse, his hands gripping my hips to hold me still or yank me back, my own face crushed into the soft duvet on top of the bed. As in any fuck, I find myself awkwardly holding my neck so I can stay down while also remain turned towards the mirror – all the better to watch him slam it in.
But no sensation.
Well… no sated sensation. There is still an aching throb in my cunt – dripping wetness and desperate to get fucked. I wonder if this is how dogs feel when you pretend to throw a stick – my cunt is haring off across the park eagerly hunting for that stick, when it’s been behind your back the whole time. There’s a vertigo-drop of disappointment when he shoves it in good and rough and yet there’s nothing for my cunt to clamp down on.
He makes noises. Unngh and mmm and oh fuck yeah that’s it. And if I were feeling grumpy – disappointed and aroused and angry and greedy greedy greedy for his dick (which I am) – I’d tell you he was moaning more loudly just to make me even more frustrated. To turn up the dial inside my brain which throbs with the need to get fucked.
I told you, didn’t I, that this goes from ‘better’ to ‘weird’? Brace yourselves.
From better sex to weird sex
On the table beside the bed sits a strap-on. It’s currently equipped with something pretty special: a silicone replica of his exact dick. When we made it, I marvelled at the precision with which it had captured every wrinkle and vein. The way the shaft bulges at a particular point. The ridge that runs underneath from base to tip. The gorgeous lip ringing the head, which on a good day I can feel as it rubs against corresponding ripples inside me.
Yeah, the strap-on is equipped with a perfect silicone replica of his cock. And that is what he uses to fuck me.
When he returns to the bed he wields two cocks. Near-identical. The strap-on is positioned slightly above his own dick, condom-clad for safety and to make it a little smoother. His own dick matches it in angle, rigidity and shape – if it weren’t for the fact that the dildo is purple, I’d have thought I was seeing double.
I stay still, as I’m ordered, while he positions each one in the right place: real dick pressed up tight against the Fleshlight, fake cock at the entrance to my real-life, aching cunt, and he pauses for a second to give me a chance to beg “pleeeeease.”
Then he strikes.
Not slow, not gentle, none of that: brutal and hard and vicious. My cunt has barely had time to savour the feeling of being filled up before I’m squealing at the force with which the firmer silicone head nudges my cervix.
It feels real and yet unreal. The texture of the clone cock is different, but the shape so remarkably familiar. It feels like it fits, yet it’s so out of place. Usually when he fucks me with silicone dicks, he’ll be gentler – aware of the fact that they’re unyielding and unable to feel when they’re being shoved in too hard. But this time he’s busy focusing on the sensation of the fake cunt round his cock, and he can fuck with more force when the thing he’s fucking is inanimate. So I get that force too – with the copy of his cock in my cunt.
I am a toy, being fucked like a toy, with a toy. And yet he moans and pants and fucks just like he does when he’s exerting himself on my own body. It’s weird sex, but only the genital bit feels odd – the rest all echoes what I’d feel if we were shagging the way we usually do.
I feel his dick, but it’s not his dick. It’s close enough for comfortable familiarity, yet still so different that it gives me echoing shudders. Not deja vu, but uncanny valley.
In and out. Mesmerising. Meditative. Painful. Brutal. Unreal.
He fucks me like this and it’s as if I’m in a dream – one where the man who’s fucking me is not him, and the person he’s fucking is not me, but each of us is inhabiting the scene like we’re hijacking other people’s minds.
His fake dick in my cunt, and his real dick in a fake one.
See? I told you it got weird.
And weird is good. Weird is my favourite.
If you’d like to buy any of the kit to pull this off, the Fleshlight or strap-on harness from my sex toy recommendations page should work a treat. Info here on how to clone your dick, too, in case that’s helpful.