Guest blog: How will Brexit affect your sex life?

Image by the incredible Stuart F Taylor

This week Theresa May signed the letter officially triggering Article 50 to begin the process of taking the UK out of the EU. Not very sexy, obviously, so other than writing a parody of the appalling treatment of May and Sturgeon in the Daily Mail, I didn’t have any Brexit-related inspiration for the blog this week. Then, like an angel descending from on high to give a combination of humour and genuinely useful insight, came Ruby l’Ace from Knicker Rocker Glory. She’s here to explain how Brexit could affect your sex life…

How will Brexit affect your sex life?

1. The cost of your sex toys may increase

Many sex toys are manufactured and/or shipped into the UK by the powerhouses that are Orion and Scala Playhouse, both of which are based in the EU. Or, perhaps your sex toys and accessories are made in the UK with components shipped in from the EU. At the moment, the free movement of goods between other EU countries means that we can import these into the UK without any import duties or taxes.

Moving forward, it all depends on what deal the UK brokers with the EU, and if the UK joins the EEA and EFTA along with countries such as Norway. However, companies shipping in products from the EU for you to buy in the UK are likely to face the costs of Customs Clearance.

Factor into this the fall of the value of the £GBP against both the ₠Euro and the $USD, and you have products which simply cost more than before, as your £ buys you less. This is why American-brand sex toys are also affected.

Any costs involved in shipping a product into the UK increase the product base price which will, in some way, be passed on to the customer. Sorry, but there really isn’t any other way. Your buzz is likely to come at a higher price.

2. Your dirty weekend to Paris/Amsterdam/Rome is likely to cost more

Getting away for a weekend of luxurious hotel rooms, candlelit dinners, or the infinite pleasures of the Red Light District is likely to cost you more than before.

This is partly due to the UK having to make new arrangements regarding our Open Skies Agreement with the EU, which removed restrictions on air travel and basically opened up the pricing competition we now see between the likes of Ryanair and easyJet. So your flight could cost you more.

It is also still unclear as to whether you will need a visa to enter EU countries, but if so then you can that to your bill, too.

And once you’re there, the dip of the Pound against the Euro means that you will get less ‘bang’ for your buck, from your hotel room to any services you commission from sex workers. The fall has not been as sharp a dip as predicted, but it’s still going to cost you more to get laid in an EU country than it did before.

(P.S. If you are thinking of going further afield, the same applies to anywhere tied to the $USD, because we’ve shrunk against that too…)

3. Champagne and chocolates are likely to cost you more

This is again related to import duties and taxes. Champagne comes from France, France is in the EU. Your Belgian chocolates come from, you guessed it, Belgium, which is in the EU. And don’t think that Prosecco will get away with it – that comes from Italy (gold star for guessing correctly – yep that’s in the EU too). If import duties and taxes rise, so will the cost of your ‘I’m really sorry I messed up’ or ‘I love you and I’d really like to get some action’ gifts. Better start saving now…

4. Stressful nights ahead…

If you are in a relationship with anyone in government, or someone who has a business which relies on trade in the EU, you are likely to be seeing raised stressed levels at the moment and for the next 2 years (at least). And that’s before we even get to your lovers (or you!) who are EU citizens resident in the UK, who still haven’t been given any guarantee on their rights to stay in the country they call home.

This monumental worry can’t fail to have an impact on your sex life as well as the rest of your life – stress is a known libido killer. You have our sympathies.

5. ‘Brexit Baby Boomers’

And then there will be those of you in the UK who are so bored by all the Brexit talk; who will turn off the TV and use that time to make sweet, sweet lurve. Who knows, maybe as we leave the EU in a couple of years time, there will be a spike in (non-EU) births too?!

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