Sex machine adventures: DVP with a fuckmachine

Image by the awesome Stuart F Taylor

One plus one does not always equal two. Sure, if we’re talking standard stuff like apples and oranges, one plus one definitely equals two and I’d be a weird conspiracy theorist if I tried to persuade you otherwise. You have one apple in a bag, you add another, you have two apples. True. But if the things you’re counting are dicks, and the place you’re putting them is my vagina: one dick plus another equals a hell of a lot more than two. Let’s talk DVP with a fuckmachine.

Before we begin, some disambiguation: DVP (as I have now learned, having accidentally referred to what I’m about to describe as ‘DP’ too many times) means ‘double vaginal penetration.’ Apparently that three-letter acronym is important, because otherwise people will be confused and think you mean regular DP (one in the ass, one in the cunt). My other half explained this to me with a look on his face that said ‘Ha! See? Sometimes I’m the sex expert!’, and seeing as he’s been kind enough to help me fulfil this particular sexual fantasy, it would be churlish of me to deny him his moment in the spotlight.

So: DVP. The plan was that we’d use our shiny new fuckmachine (courtesy of site sponsors Eva Amour – use code MACHINE for 15% off this sex machine, or GOTN10 for 10% off any of their other sexy products) on Valentine’s Day to help me fulfil my fantasy of getting brutally fucked by two cocks at once. Ah, Valentine’s Day! My calendar tells me it was a mere eight weeks ago but my soul says otherwise. We measure this gap not in days but in lifetimes. Epochs.

I digress.

Those who are keeping track of this story will already be familiar with the part about how we tried to hold off on christening our new dick robot till Valentine’s Day but couldn’t resist, and did a spitroast with the sex machine to tide us over. Catch up with that if you like, then come back here for the next instalment.

Two dicks is a lot

As I said at the start: two dicks is a hell of a lot of dick. A monstrous amount of dick. Go find yourself a sock and shove a couple of broom handles inside it, if you want to play along at home and you don’t happen to have two cocks to hand. Notice how the sock does not simply cling to the broom handles like it’s vacuum-sealed – it gapes. It stretches. It opens far fucking wider than the sum of two times whatever you’ve stuck inside it.

This is what I learned when we did DVP with the fuckmachine. But wait! First we need the warm up. As ever, I’m so greedy to get to the dick that I’m getting ahead of myself.

Fuckmachine DVP: what is the right position?

Naturally we’re both naked. Inevitably we’re both excited. Unfortunately we’re struggling to work out the best angle at which to get fucked. Through experimentation, we narrow it down to two:

Doggy style: me bent over with my face buried in the carpet and arse in the air, sex machine positioned just behind me so the dildo it comes with can slide into my cunt. Him positioned over the machine, in a kind of half-straddle half-squat, sliding his cock in so it sits on top of the dildo. Tempting, for sure, but seeing as we are inevitably planning to have a go at DP (one in the cunt, one in the ass) at a later date, we thought we’d save this position for then and instead attempt…

On my back: me raised slightly off the ground (on the top of the cover for this DIY spanking bench, if you’re interested), and the fuckmachine set low, so he could put his knees either side of it and ease his dick into my cunt just above the dildo. The benefits of this position are that I get to look at his face while he shoves it in, and see the twitch of absolutely disgusting cram-it-in lust that I know for a FACT he will get when we finally manage to achieve this. Also I get to lie on my back, and I’m lazy.

Push it

Perhaps my expectations of the elasticity of my vagina were a little misplaced. I genuinely hadn’t expected it to be as tricky as it was to cram two cocks in there. I’ve done it before, after all: with a couple of dildos or dick-plus-dildo or dick-plus-a-few-fingers just for curiosity’s sake. But the fact that one of the dicks in this instance is attached to the relentless mechanical power of a fuck robot, positioned at a fixed angle, means this made previous attempts look like a walk in the park. Or something that’s easier than that, given walks in the park are getting a little bit more complicated these days.

I digress again. Sorry, I keep doing that.

The good news here is that the hotness of what we were doing was directly proportional to how difficult it was to achieve.

Think about it: if he’s got one of my wrists pinned above my head with one hand, and his other hand gripping the base of his cock as he tries to stuff it into me alongside the dildo on the fucking machine, I get to see every twitching change in his expression as he attempts to cram it in. It’s reminiscent of the visions I had in my head when I wrote about monster cock fantasies the other week: that desperate yearning need to get it inside, coupled with intense frustration that despite stretching my ravaged cunt as far as possible, he was still struggling to get it to fit.

The struggle was as hot as the reward.

When he did manage to jam both cocks inside, each of us sighed with satisfaction and we took a brief pause just to appreciate the intensity of it. The stretch. The strain. For me, the feeling of being so thoroughly filled with dick that it made my body limp and numb. A little like what anal sex feels like: the vulnerability of being fucked so comprehensively leaves me floppy like a kitten that’s been gripped by the scruff of its neck.

DVP with a fuckmachine: the actual fuck

We started off very slowly – a slight twist of the dial on the machine so it would start fucking in and out gently. For the first minute or so of fuckmachine strokes, my partner stayed incredibly still. Just enjoying the sensation of the heavily-lubed dildo sliding against his own dick, and the tight stretch of my cunt squeezing them both.

For me, even this was intense enough that I almost saw stars. I bit my lip and focused on holding all my muscles taut to remain absolutely still: after the challenge of getting the cock in, I certainly didn’t want it slipping out.

It wasn’t long before he started fucking too, though, and at that point I couldn’t help but start to wriggle. See, his cock was on top, resting against the front wall of my cunt, where the g-spot is. It was sensitive. I haven’t ever experienced that much pressure at that single point, and it felt maddening and delicious – like all I needed was a tiny rub in just the right place, or a wet finger trailed in a single circle around my clit, and I’d have exploded and come.

I can’t really explain to you what it felt like for him, because after the fuck we had this conversation:

“What did it feel like, when we were fucking the sex machine?”

“The DVP bit?”


“Nice. Like, really nice.”

“Is that it?”

“Yeah. Sorry, you should have fucked a poet.”

So while his experience will remain sadly unrecorded, I can tell you that his eyes grew wide when the fuckmachine started slowly and firmly pounding away. That the sensation of the dildo sliding against his dick combined with the knowledge that I was being so wholly and fully stuffed with dick led to a lot of delightful grunting noises. I can tell you that when the fuckmachine cock slipped out, he growled in a snappy, yowly way like he was genuinely angry at the robot for interrupting the fun he was having.

When he hits peak horny, he gets these beautiful eyes. His eyelids half-close, and the colour of his irises turns from light blue to dark grey. Like a storm is coming. He looked down at me with those eyes as he fucked me slowly, carefully, and so very very thoroughly, in time with the robot’s mechanical in-and-out.

I still think about that when I wank. I might still think about it in ten years’ time. Fuck it: it’ll flash through my brain when I die.

Extra dick

As I mentioned at the start, if we’re talking about dick, one plus one equals way more than two. The stretch of being filled with two cocks is not merely ‘twice’ what you feel with one. But there’s something else that makes dick feel more substantial too: the motion of a fuckmachine.

Here’s why: the way you get pounded by a human is always going to involve some element of unpredictability. They see your face contorted with joy at a particular moment, so they might speed up because they can see you’re getting close to coming. They hear you gasp a little with shock as their dick fills you more fully: they might slow down or pause to apply lube. Even without this feedback loop, human movement will always be a little more varied than the movement of a machine: their thrusts aren’t perfectly identical in speed and length, their cock might fluctuate through varying stages of hardness depending on the exact moment, and what’s more their cock will bend during the shag depending on the angle of entry.

Not so with a machine.

The machine does not speed up or slow down unless you (or whoever is controlling) decides it should. It won’t bend, either, just keep ploughing on in exactly the same place, at exactly the same angle, until you tell it otherwise. There is no way for the robot to understand what your twisted O-face is trying to say, and even if it could interpret your gurning pleasure, it cannot take any action of its own accord.

Hence: robot dick is more substantial than human dick. I mean it. If you’re thinking of buying a fuckmachine of your own (which you should, you definitely should, if you’ve got the cash and the inclination) you need to factor this in when you’re choosing which dildo to attach. It doesn’t matter if you’re aiming for DVP, DP, a spitroast or dildo fuck: robot dick will always feel more substantial. We used the dildo that came with the machine, which was about 8 inches long (length is good: makes the angle of fucking easier to achieve) and 4.5 inches in circumference. And honestly, even for a relatively average girth, I still found myself wondering if they make ’em any slimmer.

My next challenge/plan/fantasy is to combine the fuckmachine with the gorgeous silicone clone we made of my partner’s dick, and get fucked by ‘his’ cock in my cunt and ass simultaneously. But even after this incredibly successful bout of DVP with the fuckmachine, I have my reservations about combining the two. His cock is gorgeous and I adore it, but now I know from experience that the machine cock is innately more intense than a flesh cock of similar size, it might take a fuck of a lot more practice to work up to full robo-DP.

But still. We live in Weird Times, don’t we? We’ve got to have something to keep us entertained during lockdown.


The F Machine Pro 3 (£533.99) was given to me very generously by my site sponsors Eva Amour. They are a fabulous ethical sex toy company who sell a range of toys – from bondage equipment to vibrators and incredible sex machines like this one, and they will give you a 10% discount on anything on their site if you use the code GOTN10. They will give you an extra big discount on this specific machine: code MACHINE for 15% off. That includes this ridiculously cool robot which personally we have found to work even better than baking to help our lockdown time fly by. 


  • Sam says:

    I am an inventor. This post has has got my thinking cap on. Will see what I can do.

  • SpaceCaptainSmith says:

    ‘Sorry, you should have fucked a poet.’
    Haha! God bless him. :) Happy Easter to you both.

  • Mosscat says:

    Hot damn! I’ve come over all hot and bothered (again) and will be adding this to my wank bank for sure. Thank you 💋

  • Azkyroth says:

    How…does this not result in the base of the dildo slamming him in the balls repeatedly? O.o

    • Girl on the net says:

      Haha well this dildo doesn’t have a base – the one that comes with the machine is just smooth all the way down, so ball/base interactions don’t happen. I did ask him whether he wasn’t a bit nervous having his nuts dangling so close to the metal stick that’s slamming in and out but he says because it’s an entirely predictable motion it isn’t too tricky to arrange oneself. You definitely can’t fuck with the same kind of vigorous abandon you’d use if there weren’t also a robot ploughing the same furrow though. I’ll see if I can get a picture of the dildo on the machine a bit later today when I’m tidying my office, and I’ll drop a link to it here so you can see.

      • Azkyroth says:

        “Base” isn’t quite the right word; I’m looking at the picture and the “step” down from dildo diameter to rod diameter. (An actual base would be even worse). I guess if you use a long enough dildo that the point where it joins the rod never goes past the balls (closer to the cunt than the balls are) even on simultaneous maximum points of machine in-stroke and human out-stroke it might be ok, otherwise it seems like the would start to fall down begin the step and get smacked by it on the machine outstroke. A picture might help, yeah. O.o

        • Girl on the net says:

          Just realised I totally forgot to do this, sorry! I was writing something new about the fuckmachine today and I remembered. Images here! It’s not technically attached to the machine here because we’ve nicked the vac-u-lock attachment that usually goes with it to the silicone clone of his dick that we made in a previous blog post, but I’ve held it against the stick so you get the idea.

          Asked my dude about this issue and he just said it doesn’t seem to get in the way. My theory is that it may well depend on how tight/dangly one’s bollocks are at the time, but it’s also worth noting that this cock is not particularly firm – the silicone is quite squishy so this may be more of an issue if you’re using the machine with a dildo that’s massively hard or something. Image here so you can see the squish level (although obvs won’t be *as* squishy as this when it has the hard vac-u-lock attachment inside, but still squishier than most other dildos I own).

  • ftandhubby says:

    Your enthusiasm for the task at hand is inspiring! He may not be a poet but what he was trying to say is that he really enjoys you getting into it. My partner and I have a few episodes of DVP in our past although not with a fuck machine. Although a challenge I can say all involved had a pretty good time. It adds up to way more than the sum of the parts, the idea that she is getting 2 cocks off at once and feeling them both orgasm one after the other…….may be time to give it another go or order a machine!

  • Phillip says:

    GOD! What a psychological mine field! Permussion (sp) squared! This is the sort of thing that a divorcing couple might fight over in court. My advice would be to retain ‘Rumpole’!

    There is more included in an email. It is about getting to retire while you are still young. Really!

  • PinkGilly15 says:

    Well this is something else, and now I want a machine so bad. I had to read this twice . I love the digressions because it’s so real and right now real is much needed. It makes the experience reading about it so more relevant. Thank you for making me squeal out loud at this. My partner looking at me with sheer curiosity. I’ll read it to him later.

  • Moondog says:

    Look forward to hearing about the experimentation with the clone for DP 😊

    BTW, I sent you a (belated) email response re the clone a willy and one of your posts from a few weeks back.

  • Roby says:

    double penetration, however nothing is like the real male! The natural movement if done well will drive the girl crazy

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