Every year I try to do a Christmas presents guide that points you not-so-subtly to cool products my sponsors sell in case you want to buy something awesome for the hot people in your life (one of whom, inevitably, is yourself: you deserve presents too!). I realised this year that I should probably get off my arse and do at least part of it sooner, because if I publish something today you can also take advantage of Black Friday deals where you get extra discounts and cool stuff. If you’re not in the market for sex toys it will be very boring, so feel free to skip over it and go wank to one of the filthy posts while everyone else does their shopping.
Hot Octopuss – up to 60% off AMO, 30% off Atom Plus
The AMO bullet vibe is the best bullet vibe I own. It’s powerful and brilliant and looks sexy as fuck. Atom Plus is the best vibrating cock ring I have ever tried. There is not a single Hot Octopuss toy that I don’t think is worth a punt, if you like the look of it: they are very good at sex toy tech, and their products are shiny and powerful.
You get larger discounts if you sign up to the Hot Octopuss newsletter, which is nice because they send sexy news/opinion pieces/deals to your inbox.
Shop Hot Octopuss Black Friday sale (and I’ll get a cut of sales which will help me pay my bills) before 1st December.
ElectraStim – 20% off EVERYTHING
It’s simple, it’s classic, it’s an excellent excuse to go pick up that fancy Axis e-stim kit you’ve been itching to try since I blogged about getting e-stimmed in the ass to the tune of ‘Kickdrum’ by Felix Da Housecat. ElectraStim are Not Fucking About with their Black Friday sale: just use the code, get 20% off, and go fuck yourself.
Shop ElectraStim’s Black Friday Sale before 1st December or use GOTN10 for 10% off the rest of the year.
Godemiche – buy one get one half price
I’ve already probably recommended the Ambit dildo far too often on here: it’s my go-to wank toy (twinned with Doxy or Zumio below, if you’re interested). But they also do a gorgeous range of larger dildos, butt plugs and even silicone masturbators (which are fun because they’re open at one end so you still get to watch the spunk squirt out of ’em). And right now you can get buy-one-get-one-half-price on their toys.
Shop the Godemiche Black Friday Sale before Sunday 29th November, or use GOTN for 15% off the rest of the year.
MEO – 1/3 off EVERYTHING
Lovely and simple deal from Meo here, and they have a huge range of amazing products – many of which aren’t stocked in other sponsor shops, including some excellent fucking machines, gorgeous leather harnesses and puppy hoods. Seriously, check ’em out, they have loads of cool stuff and now’s the best time to grab something you’ve been aching for.
Shop the Meo Black Friday Sale using the code BLACKFRIDAY2020
Doxy – free lube with Doxy original
I feel like there’s a supreme confidence in offering no discounts whatsoever for Black Friday, just going ‘yeah we’ll chuck some free lube in.’ This is the act of a company that knows what it offers is already a fucking bargain and has absolutely no doubt that you were going to buy a Doxy anyway. Weren’t you, you horny little fuck? You know the original Doxy is amazing, and you’ve wanted one for ages, so fuck the commercialism of this random discount holiday – take it with free lube or come crawling back to buy one next week anyway, like the eager little wanker you truly are.
Shop Doxy Black Friday ‘free lube’ offer before 30th November, or use GOTN15 for 15% off all the rest of the year.
Stuff Goodies – 25% off kits
These people have a TONNE of products so I’m going to focus specifically on a few, but have a browse around the site if you want to find more. But I don’t have any other butt plugs on this list and you know how I feel about butt plugs (hint: it’s the same way I feel about someone who pipes up midway through a drinking session to say they’re ordering pizza for everyone) so I’m focusing on a few butt plug kits that are 25% off…
And… why not? A douche.
30% off Zumio
Zumio is my favourite thing. If my house were on fire and I had to grab-and-run, I would struggle to choose between it and my Doxy, so chances are I’d end up at least a little bit smoke-damaged. They’re offering 30% off all their products, which includes both Zumios I’ve tried and loved (the Zumio S and the Zumio X), so if you’ve been contemplating trying it and just waiting for a decent discount, now’s the time.
Shop the Zumio Black Friday sale (and I get a cut of the money, which is handy because my ex took a lot of my own sex toys in the break-up and I could do with replacing at least one of them myself)
SexToys – up to 50% off
Frankly, SexToys.co.uk always has a decent sale on, but for Black Friday they’re pushing the boat out with up to 50% off (as opposed to usual discounts of 20ish – which you can get with the code GOTN20 if you’re reading this when the Black Friday frenzy has ended).
Anyway. Tonnes of stuff, including staples which it’s worth stocking up on while they’re cheap like lube, bondage rope, and yet more butt plugs.
SexTech Guide: more Black Friday deals!
If you’ve got this far in the post and are thinking ‘fuck’s sake GOTN, there must be WAY more deals than this, you’re just being lazy and only telling us about the ones from your sponsors!’ then congratulations in spotting the inherent cunningness of my plan, because it takes a hell of a lot of time and effort to go through ALL the deals, and this girl’s got a hell of a lot of work to be cracking on with.
Luckily, another of my site sponsors – the amazing people at Sex Tech Guide – is busy collating and curating WAY more Black Friday deals than I could ever possibly hope to log. Including discounts on porn, VR porn, sex toys, and other cool shit.
Visit Sex Tech Guide’s Black Friday page to get a far better service than you’ll ever get from me.