A cast-iron case for making more noise in bed

Image by the brilliant Stuart F Taylor

I really love it when people I’m fucking make noise. You don’t need to scream the place down, but I do enjoy some encouragement in the right direction. Positive noises, when I’m doing something good, are not only welcome from a confidence-boosting perspective, they will also (usually) ensure that you have more satisfying sex with me. If you don’t yet understand why, allow me to climb on my soap box for a second and explain to you the cast-iron case for making more noise in bed.

Picture the scene: I’m riding your dick. We’re having a lovely time. So far, I’ve been switching between the grinding that gets me off and the up-and-down riding that seems to work for you. I don’t want to be a selfish lover, of course, so my broad plan is to mix and match these styles before eventually biasing towards ‘grinding till I come around your cock’, ride out the waves of sexy cunt-twitches for a bit, pause for a brief rest while my thighs stop trembling, then switch back up to bouncing until you spaff yourself.

Unfortunately, unless you join in, I’m going to struggle in both of these endeavours.

In order to come, I need a bit more stimulation than just the feeling of your junk tessellating with my own. I need to see you make a sexy face, or moan a bit. I need to feel your cock throb and twitch, or have your hands grabbing at my body in a way that implies you really want to touch my body. One, two, or ideally all of these things.

Picture me, fucking away on top of you, with an ‘energy’ meter above my head like this is a video game. In order to keep my energy meter topped up, you have to press some fucking buttons. Chuck out an ‘XXY’ combo to rub my clit, go for double-tap-right-YY to squeeze my tits. Try XYX to throw in a bit of dirty talk – call me a ‘good girl’ and say ‘don’t stop, I’m so fucking close.’

Or, you know, just tap X to make a moaning noise.

All these things top up my energy bar. Often, when you’re the one doing the work during a shag, I am not making noises purely because I like the way I feel when I’m allowed to let out a moan or two (although I do, oh how I do), I’m doing them because I recognise that my feedback helps to keep your energy bar topped up.

Nothing drains that bar faster than fucking someone who doesn’t react.

If you make more noise in bed

If you start making more noise in bed, you boost that energy bar, and when I’m fucking you the chances are I’ll put even more power and effort into it, because I know that it’s doing things which make you make that ‘unngh’ noise. I will fuck you and fuck you and fuck you because getting you to make that noise is like winning a prize at the arcade when I’ve poured all my 2ps into the machine. I know I may be out of breath and tired and sweating and pulling muscles left, right and centre, but my God I adore that noise. I’ll work harder to get than noise than I’d ever work in response to silence. Scatter enough prizes throughout the 2p machine and I’ll keep pouring and pouring and pouring until all my 2ps have run out.

GOTN: will work for sexy noises.

While I fully expect you to understand why your noises spur me on, I do also understand why you might be wary to make them. I fuck men, mostly. Straight men at that (though that’s an accident of statistics rather than design, obviously). And many of those dudes have watched a lot of mainstream straight porn where all the noise comes from the women. Personally I find it a bit frustrating, and I want to tune the squeals out a little in order to hear the occasional manna-from-heaven dudegrunt. But as a general rule, the way straight sex is presented to us usually has women making far more of the noise. So I understand why men are a bit shyer to get stuck into it.

What’s more, if we zoom in on the specifics of the situation I can see how if I’m on top, dudes might be wary of the effect their noises might have. After all, someone working really hard to make you come can sometimes add a little bit too much pressure. If you make the noise, I’ll work harder, and then if you still don’t come you might feel guilty that your noises spurred me into burning all my fuck energy, yet without the reward of your awesome dick-twitches and dollops of spunk at the end.

I get this, but please please please do not worry. I would rather end a fuck utterly and completely spent, having tried my absolute best, than end it for the following reason…

What happens if you make no noise

If you don’t make any noise, or only make a tiny bit of noise, then when I am fucking you I have no idea if you’re close. I can guess at it, sure, and sometimes I might guess right – your involuntary trembles or the clench in your jaw often give away a little of this stuff – but most of the time these guesses are going to be inaccurate. They’re certainly going to be less accurate than they would be if you told me (three best words in the English language, remember? “I’m gonna come.”). Absent any noises or words, I can try my best to work out if you’re close, but if I’m not getting much feedback, I am more likely to assume you aren’t and then give up. Especially if I’ve just come myself and now my thighs are trembly.

I understand that you don’t want to tire me out too much if you’re not sure you’re actually going to come, and that’s extremely thoughtful of you, but consider this: I would rather end a fuck because my body is fully spent – limp and weak and exhausted and unable to bounce for a single second longer on your lovely rock-solid dick – than end a fuck because I’m embarrassed that I tried so hard and didn’t even get you close.

Likewise with blow jobs, naturally: if I’ve sucked you off for ages and then I need to stop for a quick water break/to massage my jaw/because it sounds like something exciting is happening on the porn on the TV behind me, I’ll be super-sad if you tell me late – too late – that you were ‘so close just then.’ I know you don’t want to stop me taking a break, and that’s sweet of you – I’m never going to be fucking the sort of person who’d demand I kept powering on through my own discomfort (unless that was a specifically pre-negotiated thing, of course). But but but but but! Saying ‘oh yeah that’s it God fuck yeah fuck oh please don’t stop I’m so fucking close’ isn’t a demand per se, it’s just useful (and extremely sexy) information, which may well compel me to keep going for juuuust that little bit longer.

Sucking, fucking, or anything that requires effort on my part is always going to be more sustainable if you give me a hand filling up that power bar. If you make noises that tell me you are close, you give me the encouragement that keeps me going even through the wall of pain that says ‘seriously, you’re thirty-seven years of age and you smoke too much, you should stop now’ and takes me to a plateau of genuine exhaustion. If this happens yet I still don’t get you there, at least I can console myself with the knowledge that I did my best. If you make no noise at all, not only am I likely to stop long before I’ve reached ‘peak knackered’, but I’ll also likely climb off you with a sense of shame and failure.

If you tell me ‘I’m about to come, don’t stop, don’t fucking stop’ then the only reason I might stop is because it’s physically impossible for me to continue. In which case, I’ll have a bit of a rest but be eager to go again – get you back to that plateau and see if I can help tip you over it.

So talk to me, baby. Moan for me. XXY me, dude! Fill up my power bar.



Important addendum, that I’m not gonna bother adding to every blog post, but which I’d like you to bear in mind if you’re a regular reader: because I’m shagging some new people at the moment, I suspect there’ll be a temptation to see any ‘advice’ piece I write as a broad subtweet to one or other of these people. It is not helped by the fact that I tend to write blogs using ‘I’ and an unspecified ‘you’. It’s a sneaky way for me to try and give you ideas for your own sex life while sidestepping the pitfall of ‘telling everyone they absolutely have to all fuck in the same way.’ More detail in this post here. Rest assured, though, that while I think there is a general trend towards men making less noise than women during straight sex (hence why I thought this might be a helpful post), if I want individual people I’m fucking to make more noise, I’ll just ask them. ‘More noise’ tends to be the thing I most frequently ask for, so I thought explaining why might be helpful to some of you lot. 



  • Peter says:

    What a fantastic post. I have maybe been too quiet in the past. I love a loud lover who is not afraid to shake the walls and let go with their vocal ministrations. If I ever get the chance to have sex again I will be sure to be more vocal…

  • Mike says:

    The use of the word “Tessellating”… for some reason, hotter than i can describe. Where were you when i was a horny teen failing geometry in school?!

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