Guest blog: So I found out my boyfriend liked sploshing…

Splosh pic by the lovely Stuart F Taylor

Sometimes you don’t share someone else’s kink, and you just want to leave it at that. Other times, you don’t share someone else’s kink but you really love exploring it with them because you want to find out exactly why it gets them so hot under the collar. This week’s guest blog, by a filthy girl who wishes to remain anonymous, is about the latter thing, and it’s an example of sex writing so powerful that as soon as I read it I had to have a vigorous shag to work through my horniness. What I’m saying is that this guest blog – about sploshing – is hotter than the actual sun.

What happened when I found out my boyfriend liked sploshing

It’s about 8am and we’re on the National Express traveling to the airport. In sleepy, whispered conversation with my (relatively new) boyfriend, I ask what he likes to use to get off when I’m not around.

‘Uhh… Have you heard of WAM?’

And so began my introduction into the world of sploshing.

Sploshing, or WAM (Wet and Messy), is a fetish in which the fetishist is aroused by people getting utterly trashed into a wet, sticky and scrumptious mess. This isn’t my particular kink, but I’m intrigued. In fact it occupies my nearly every waking thought for the duration of the holiday; I find the mere fact that my boyfriend has a fetish to be an unbelievable turn on. (The delayed gratification aspect of being forced to wait until we get home before experimenting with splosh only served to enhance the painfully sexy frustration of it all.) Furthermore, he’d never had the opportunity to play any of it out with another person before. Hello!

During the trip I found myself relating all dirty sex talk back to his fetish, begging him to tell me more. He told me he wanted to cover me in custard and fill my knickers with whipped cream. He whispered in my ear that he wanted to tease me until I was achingly hot and wet, then make me sit on a gooey, cream-filled fudgy cake. Then he’d push my face into the mess, making me taste my cunt and the cake in the same delicious mouthful. In return, between kisses on his neck, I told him I wanted to sit on top of him and slowly grind against his hard cock as I poured custard over myself. Tied to the bed, unable to reach out and touch me, he’d only be able to watch as the warm custard ran tantalisingly down my hair, my face, my body and onto him… then maybe if he was lucky I’d sit on his face and he could finish me off with his mouth, custard dripping onto his face.

Soon after arriving home I bought a waterproof fitted sheet to protect my bed, a big carton of custard, an equally large Pyrex jug, and the biggest can of squirty cream I could find. Then, stripped to our undies and kneeling on the bed, I let him completely trash me.

He poured the custard over my head so it ran down my face and into my bra. I helped it along by rubbing my hands through the mess and spreading it over my torso and legs, then pulled him close and kissed him, covering his body and face in the warm gooeyness in the process. He ordered me onto my hands and knees and pushed himself up against me from behind so I could feel how hard he was, before filling my knickers with whipped cream. On all fours, I tried to turn my head so I could see him behind me, biting his lip as he pulled my panties up between my ass cheeks, moaning as he watched the cream burst out. Ohhh fuck. Over and over he repeated this, the whipped cream starting to melt and drip down my legs. When he couldn’t handle it anymore, he pushed me down onto the bed and fucked me hard, grabbing at my custard entangled hair and and my body, feeling the slippery mess he’d made of me and pulling me closer.

We’ve since used chocolate frosting, a variety of cakes, raspberry jam and Angel Delight. Recently he came home to find I’d prepared the bedroom, warmed some custard and had a quadruple layered cake perched on a chair in the kitchen, waiting for him to make me strip and sit on it, which he duly did. He sat on the floor behind me and watched with glee as the cake was squashed under and between my cheeks and against my cunt (cake sitting feels soft and moist and just so fucking good), spreading it further with his hands until my ass and thighs were covered in cream and crumb. Then, ordering me to put some clean underwear on, he led me to the bedroom, where he filled them with thick cream and custard before fucking me into a quivering wreck.

Seeing how hard and hot he gets as he transforms me into a sticky, creamy, gooey mess is one of my favourite things ever. It’s fun and silly and oh-so-sexy all in one. I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. What do I get out of it? Maybe it’s seeing his reactions… maybe that’s my fetish. Whatever it is, I don’t care. I just want more.

If you’re as inspired as I am by this guest blog, and you want to try out sploshing, you can buy protective sheets and bedding (from my sponsors SexToys here or SheVibe here) to protect your bed/carpets from any stray drips of custard. And the girl who wrote this blog has kindly contributed some sploshing tips of her own, as well: 

  • If you’re planning to get really trashed I’d recommend using low-fat products. I made the mistake of buying all high fat dairy products my first time (because I never buy low fat to eat) but it can be a bit of a nightmare to wash off – it deposits a kind of waxy layer on the skin and can leave your hair smelling like off dairy if you don’t shampoo much more thoroughly than is usually necessary to get clean.
  • I’d advise taking any contact lenses out (if you wear them) beforehand – on one occasion we couldn’t stop laughing because he kept accidentally dripping custard in my eyes. At one point he tried to be ever so helpful and remove a drip he could see making its way down my face and somehow poked more custard into my left eye! It might have been much less funny with my lenses in.
  • Finally, arrange a clear and protected path from play area to clean up area before you start or you’ll get chocolate hand prints and custard footprints EVERYWHERE! We use cling film or baking sheets, but they get a bit slippery so it’s more than a little undignified, and we end up making at least a bit of mess that needs to be cleaned or wiped up anyway.


  • Anonymous 4982 says:

    When I saw sploshing, I thought of slodging. I wanna slodge with you all day.

    • SpaceCaptainSmith says:

      “It’s not like… the opposite of dis-slodging, is it?”
      “It’s the exact opposite of dislodging!”

      Reference for those who haven’t seen it:

      (Although I would assume that everyone reading this blog should already be familiar with that hilarious and sexy webcomic…)

    • SpaceCaptainSmith says:

      I think my reply to the above comment was blocked for containing a URL. So I’ll just say that anyone who doesn’t get the reference above should immediately Google the hilarious webcomic Oglaf. You’re welcome.

  • John says:

    I’m hungry and horny.

  • pinkgilly15 says:

    Omg wow

  • SpaceCaptainSmith says:

    Btw, love the last tag on this one. :)

  • The Uh Oh says:


    I’d love to know her initial thoughts when he first brought it up – revealing a fetish can be a weirdly daunting situation.

    • filthy girl says:

      Hey, I’m the author of this guest blog – I meant to reply to this the other day but then completely forgot. Sorry! My first thoughts were quite jumbled; a mishmash of trying to visualise sploshing, an inner dialogue of ‘I’ve never heard of this / my boyfriend has a FETISH! / how have *I* not heard of this?! / I wonder if he’s experimented with this IRL / I wasn’t expecting this response to my question’, and thinking that it seemed like the most fun (as in, playful, silly, etc.) fetish ever.

      I brought it up again when we arrived at the airport. Later, while on the plane, we were seated apart, so I listened to my music and just obsessed/fantasised over it. I just couldn’t get it out of my head. When we arrived at our hotel I kept probing him for more information, which I later found out was when he realised I was really taking a personal interest in this and might be interested in exploring it further (much to his delight).

  • Funloving Girl says:

    Wow, this is sexy and horny and fun. Thank you for sharing. I love exploring fetishes and fantasies with my partner. That look of lust, arousal and appreciative awe that you are doing this for them… worth it every time.

  • I think we’re really odd … we shower before sex – these guys must have to shower or get hosed down after it!

  • Rachie says:

    I find the thought of this so so sexy. I wonder if my body does

  • Rachie says:

    Boyfriend, not body

  • Kim says:

    OK, a really practical question! Any worries about UTIs etc from having penetrative sex with all the messy stuff all over your body? It looks super hot in writing but there is a part of me thinking ‘am I going to end with a poorly vagina from custard going in there?!?’

  • Meric says:

    Hello! Speaking from experience here, much trial and error, but hopefully my pain can do good? I have some suggestions for preventing both UTIs and YIs (which were more of a problem with food and penetration) because food in fun parts can be awesome until 2 days later when you are screaming ‘Oh god oh god oh god’ for very different reasons. I’m also just annoyingly sensitive. And if you don’t have a specific food item in mind but want to try, I propose starting with sexy non sweet foods. Less sugar content, less trouble. I didn’t get on with the low-fat or sugar free stuff as it usually other sweeteners and didn’t taste the same. It was sweet/sticky/fruity/juice that seemed to set the balances off. But honestly- that’s the fun stuff so… Here are a few options to pick and choose: *Drinking water. Lots and a day or two ahead if you can. (Some cut out sugar drinks too.) Not until you are uncomfortable but with the goal to keep things rinsed from the inside out. *Rinsing during play for penetrative. A squeeze drink bottle with warm water, wet flannels, and then lube to replace your natural slippery that will be compromised by food and cleanliness. (I like Sliquid, the anal type is thick enough to stay in place and doesn’t get mixed with the food so you can keep playing and it doesn’t ruin taste!) If you already have plastic sheets/protection this is easier than trying to get to the bathroom for a rinse. (Less tracking the mess.) Also keep rinsing for a day or so as aftercare. Bidet it up! It was more effective than scrubbing with soaps even with oily foods. (I was just overmoisturized for a few days. Olive oil salad dressings was sort of a skin spa. And thanks literally honey!) This also goes for guys too- rinse it in the sink with water only. If you have a partner you want to ride the post kink glow with it doesn’t do any good to pass it back and forth. Guys tend to have fewer problems but it’s still a risk worth minimising. :) And my weirdest: ironically is more food. A clove of garlic peeled and tucked up there for 12 hours… some people put a string for retrieval, some people react to garlic oil more (If you do, or find garlic extremely strong please don’t try this. I enjoy eating raw garlic.) but the theory is that it’s a ‘natural’ antiseptic so yeast development will be reduced or prevented. I thought it was laughable but at one desperate point tried it and now it’s my first line of defence.

    Sorry, I seem to be excited by this conversation… rambling. Have fun!

  • Kevin says:

    Id like to start by saying, that I am another guy who has this fetish for all things mess …

    This was an interesting read from a partners perspective. Many WAMMERS (the slang name of someone who does this) are
    unsure or embarrassed about how prospective partners may react – in fact some will choose to hide it rather than risk a new relationship going south.
    Im pleased that he told you, and that you were open to exploring something new. obviously it struck some kind of chord, or should that be smeared, filled etc …
    Obviously you have some relationship chemistry already so that helps for sure, but well done!

    WAM, or Sploshing has many appeals. Who you ask will probably change the answer. The tactile sensation of being covered
    is different, or even pleasant depending on what it is – plenty of couples already used whipped cream, but custard seems to be a popular first thing to try in WAM.
    As the writer said, the silliness of it can bring out the inner child, and make it fun
    I go one step further, and say that it can feel liberating – doing something, that as a kid, you were probably told not to do.

    Every WAM fetishist seems to have a different ‘thing’ they like. In a fetish with no real rules, none are really wrong,
    and there is no judgement. This person seems to like underwear filling

    Me personally I actually like seeing a person get messy fully clothed – kind of a rebel against the female idea of looking your best – is to mess it all up on purpose. The taboo of doing it is the ‘turn on’.

    I guess we all have our ‘thing’ whatever we like in life.

    The WAM bible as it were is the “Ultimate Messy Directory” at
    Explore with an open mind if you like. But obviously NSFW.

    Good Luck out there
    Thanks for reading

  • You'reInCustardy says:

    I really hope I get to try this! Where is my soulmate??!!!

  • JBO says:

    I tried this with a girl I meet from Seattle who had a sugardaddy

  • Honeybear says:

    One of my most exciting experiences was filling my girlfriend’s pussy with honey and then licking it out of her. The taste of her mixed with the honey was exquisite. I also loved covering her breasts with whipped cream with cherries on top. It was such an exciting, messy fuck.

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