Have you ever seen a mother cat pick her kitten up by the scruff of the neck? Docile and vulnerable, the kitten instantly stops whatever it was doing, its limbs go all floppy, and it turns into an adorable mess. If you want to know what anal sex feels like, picture me as the kitten and your rock-solid dick as that firm grip on the scruff of my neck.
I’m a cis woman, and as such I don’t have a prostate. So when I say I enjoy anal sex, understandably some people ask ‘why?’ What could this thing possibly do for me, if it doesn’t directly stimulate an easy-to-name part of the body? How could I enjoy it if it’s unlikely to make me come? They do not ask this question to be mean. Some of the people who’ve asked it have been curious prostate-owners who can’t quite compute why anal sex would be fun for someone without one. Others have been lovers who need to understand my pleasure in detail, so they can fully comprehend how to increase and make the most of it.
Besides, it’s fun to answer these questions: I like the process of considering how anal sex feels to me, and the challenge of capturing the sensations in detail so I can share them with other curious perverts.
Let’s have a go.
What anal sex feels like
Initially, if I haven’t had anal sex in a while, it starts with nerves. And ironically, I am nervous even telling you that it starts with nerves, because sometimes when I do that I get comments asking if I can genuinely consent to something that makes me so edgy and tense.
The answer is yes, I can. Edgy tension is part of the fun for me. Anal sex is not directly pleasurable in the same way that cunt-based fucking is: it feels different, is different. And that sexy and intriguing difference begins with the tingle of adrenaline in my veins, ten seconds before he pushes his cock inside.
Next comes the physical sensation of tautness. Being stretched. His cock is thick and solid, and I can feel the tensile elasticity of my hole flexing against the tip of him as he holds his dick there before he slides in. In that moment my body is taut: muscles flexing and hands gripping tight against the duvet, the pillow, into fists…
When he slides in, that’s when my whole body starts to go: I can feel the pressure of his dick against the walls on the inside of my ass, slickly pushing past every nerve ending. As he slides further inside, each nerve that he touches reverberates like a plucked guitar string, thrumming through my body in tingling pathways that eventually reach my neck, my shoulders, my scalp, and right up to the centre of my brain.
The sensation is not just where his cock is, it’s everywhere: like he’s played a note that resonates throughout my body.
The note makes me docile, limp. Like the aforementioned kitten whose limbs go floppy when it gets held by the scruff of the neck. I am immobilised by the tingle of my nerves, and the sensation of his cock pinning me down to the bed.
Sometimes I twitch and wriggle – my hands clench and unclench against the pillow, my teeth grind against the duvet cover I’m biting, my hips and legs and arms and shoulders feel numb. Incapacitated by the intensity of the tingling thrill of that one sharp, resonating note.
Docile and vulnerable, I lie face-down as he fucks me – slowly at first, murmuring ‘OK?’ as I groan and squeal for it. Floppy and limp as he fucks me faster – punishing me with his cock like I’m bad, even as his mouth growls what a good girl I am being.
These sensations are not everyone’s
This is what anal sex feels like for me, I am not claiming that this is how it feels for everyone. I’d be interested to know who else feels it this way, though: a few conversations with others tell me not everyone gets this whole-body fizz – for some the sensation is located directly and solely in the ass.
I like anal sex because these feelings are ones I covet and crave in a whole bunch of sexual encounters. The physical and the psychological. Extreme submission. Capitulation. The nerve-tingling, electric, incapacitating thrill. The literal, genuine, give-me-pleasure-from-crotch-to-scalp tingles are delightful, but perhaps more delightful is the kitten-limp vulnerability of it. I am not confident, when I’m being fucked like this, that I know exactly what my limbs are doing. What my mouth is doing. What my eyes are doing. I am vulnerable to him, and utterly trusting, as he pins me down with his cock and grips my shoulders with his hands and all but grabs my neck in his jaws while I purr with pleasure and delight.
Can I orgasm from anal sex? Not yet. Not now. Perhaps one day I may be able to – with additional tools or different positions or more practice until I get perfect. The clitoris, after all, is not just a surface-level organ: there is literal stimulation on the inside when I’m getting fucked in the ass, and it’s possible that one day I might get there.
But for now I am not interested in coming – I can do that in many other ways. What I want is that kittenish feeling: the vulnerability of knowing that these anal sex sensations have made me weak and useless. Every inch of my body is zinging with sensation, and my mind is present and correct, but I do not know if I have control of it – of any of it.
I have to trust him to hold me by the neck, and then release me gently when he’s done.