I’m so honoured to bring you this guest blog today – a powerfully intimate account of a D/s couple’s private collaring ceremony. It’s written by the fabulous Komplicated Kitty, who’s contributed some amazing guest blogs before about pet play, being a Slutty Cinderella, and being pushed to the edge of your kinky limits. Today she’s here to give an insight into how she and her husband chose to formalise their 24/7 dynamic, and the rituals they came up with to seal their commitment.
Our private collaring ceremony
When we got married so many years ago, my vows did not include that last little word: obey. In fact, I’d bristle at the thought. Our partnership was a partnership, and over the years it became a really good one. We had kids, ran businesses, traveled together, and built a full, satisfying life. Our sex was never vanilla, but the rest of our life certainly was.
I consider myself to be a confident, competent person, who doesn’t shy away from being in charge when I’m the girl for the job. But in the darkest reaches of my soul, in my most intimate relationship, I am deeply submissive.
It took me years to understand what this meant, and even longer to accept it. My husband, who all along knew I was holding something back from him, waited patiently for me to share just exactly what that was.
A word about him… he is as dominant as they come in the best of ways. He’s the most accountable, responsible person I know, quick to apologize when he’s wrong, and also quick to hold others accountable. His greatest pleasure is taking care of me and of his family. He is a fierce feminist, always respectful, and he would never take from me what was not freely given.
It took him a long time to accept that he is also a sadist, and almost as long to reconcile the deep satisfaction he feels when I am on my knees with his modern sensibilities.
We’ve grown in our understanding of ourselves and of what it means for our life together. When we both fully embraced our roles, our relationship blossomed on a whole different level. When we finally committed to a 24/7 D/s lifestyle, it fit. It reflected the most authentic version of us, so when we’d read about collaring ceremonies, the idea intrigued us. Eventually, we both wanted to take that step. We were already living the life, but we wanted the permanence the ritual represented.
Collaring ceremony preparations
Several months earlier, we’d found Innthrall, an amazing kinky Airbnb, and had an incredible experience there. We met the owner and innkeeper, Kathleen, a lovely Dominatrix, and after that first trip, we reached out to inquire if she would help us with a ceremony. She agreed, and soon all the pieces came together…
We’d already played hard the day before, taking advantage of Innthrall’s assortment of toys and dungeon equipment like kids in a candy store. My ass was sore, and we were fully immersed in our roles. Sir blocked off an hour to meet with K, who would serve as officiant, and while they discussed various parts of the ceremony, I napped in a locked cage.
That night, Sir and I had a fancy dinner, both of us excited and a little nervous about the upcoming event, though for different reasons.
The morning of, we enjoyed a delicious breakfast, me naked and chained beside him, and then a swim in the indoor, heated pool – my last for the visit. A few hours before the ceremony I showered, fixed my hair, added a little makeup. I wore only a red silk robe, it was Valentine’s weekend after all, and my silver bedtime collar. Sir locked me into the cage once more while he and K prepared the space for the ceremony.
In the silent moments of waiting, I reflected on our journey and on the satisfaction of arriving here at this time in our lives. I will admit to a moment’s pause. While I wanted this more than I’d wanted to take the vows at our traditional wedding years before, it signified a permanence to our roles, a solemn acknowledgement that this is who we were now. More than husband and wife, forever we would be Dom and sub, a Master and his property. Not something to be taken lightly.
Obedience and care
When it was time, Sir unlocked my cage and helped me out. I shook like a leaf as he led me down the stairs. K had set up wrought iron candelabras, and the dim light cast a warm glow around the room. When we stood together in front of her, she spoke eloquently about our roles, and how rare it was that a couple took this step. Afterward, she gifted me the notebook containing her beautiful words.
Then we said our handwritten vows. Among other things, I vowed to give him my absolute obedience, and he vowed to put my care above all else in his life. Next I gave him a new wedding ring, inscribed with the word Master in ancient Greek. He unlocked my silver collar, stripped me of my robe, and put me on my knees. He then gifted me with a rose gold chain link collar, and a heart-shaped lock inscribed with ‘Property of Sir.’
We were both excited and somewhat terrified by the next part. Although we had agreed to it, and done a good bit of research, there was no denying the potential for something to go terribly wrong.
Because Sir is not as competent as he’d like to be with ropes yet, K tied me to a cushioned table, using an eloquent, simple design which nonetheless rendered me completely immobile.
When all was ready, Sir branded me just above my pubic bone, using an iron especially made for the occasion, with a symbol we designed together. The sear of pain took my breath away, but it was over quickly and faded into a lingering soreness.
“It looks beautiful,” K said.
Sir looked a little pale around the edges, but once he saw my delighted smile, he was able to admire his handiwork. He rubbed sandalwood ash into the wound, and it turned a smokey gray, looking almost like ink.
“Now you will have my mark on you forever,” he whispered.
I honestly don’t remember much after that. I was on an endorphin high, and physically and emotionally spent. I think we cuddled under a blanket. I know K cleaned up, and Sir helped tidy the space. It was an incredible experience and a deeply intimate ceremony, everything we both hoped it would be.
While not much has changed in our day to day dynamic, I am reminded every time I look at the mark on my body that I belong to him.
I am his, and he is mine.
1 Comment
This was brilliant! Thank you for sharing. My girlfriend and I are both somewhere on the sub side of the bell-curve, and when the urge for a bit of D/s play is upon us, we take it in turns to act as the dom. Taking one for the team, you could say, but when it’s my turn, watching the pleasure it gives her is a huge pleasure for me. This is a different level of stuff, though, and reading it was an incredible eye-opener. I’ve heard about this sort of ceremony but had no idea what was involved. No doubt it takes a lot of guts and commitment to decide to live your authentic sexual self 24/7 in this way.
Jxx