Guest blog: How self-imposed chastity improved my life

Image by the fabulous Stuart F Taylor

When I think of chastity, usually I picture it as something that one person is imposing on another. In the past, the closest I’ve come to chastity play is telling partners not to come for a few days before they next see me, so they can give me a huge load of spunk. So when this week’s guest blogger got in touch to pitch a piece about self-imposed chastity, I was really intrigued. Meet Thomas, who’s here with a fantastic guest blog explaining how self-imposed chastity significantly improved his life…

How self-imposed chastity improved my life

If procrastination became an Olympic sport, I still wouldn’t win because I’d put off showing up to the event until it was too late. I am a master of finding ways to distract myself. There is always an excuse not to do something that I’m supposed to be doing. At least that was true for a while until I decided to make a few changes.

Historically, one of those excuses has been my dick. After suffering an accident a few years’ ago leaving me unable to walk for quite some time, I was forced to settle into a new role working from home. In theory, this would work out fine. I would effectively be my own boss, choose my working hours, take long lunches, and I could move work around surgeries and physio. What’s not to like about this?

Unfortunately, I failed to consider my overactive sex drive and the needy nature of my penis. For someone who has the willpower of a rabid bear in a campsite, I soon found that rather than work, I’d wank instead. I could rationalise it and theorise that the on-demand dopamine dispenser between my legs helped me deal with the agonising pain that came from putting on pants in the morning and the general difficulties of day-to-day life when one of your legs doesn’t work. In truth, it was just easy.

Before my accident, I was rather productive. I’d probably have been more productive if not for my natural inclination toward procrastination, but those regulations that had disappeared from my life had done an excellent job of keeping my urges in check. You can’t whip your cock out in the office without making other people very uncomfortable and having to have an awkward chat with some people in blue uniforms. I had achieved some notable things in my life as I have quite a few talents – all of which had been thrown aside in favour of a quick, or sometimes long, tug.

Worse is how unfulfilling it all became. Orgasms become unsatisfying when you can have one whenever you want, and that only seems to result in needing more of them to feel content. When you already have an extremely high sex drive by nature, your libido morphs into an insatiable beast with an incessant need to feed. My work suffered, and all those grand plans I’d made to make the best of my situation got literally spaffed into my hand.

When you spend more time thinking about how you can make your next wank a bit more interesting than finishing your work, catching up on that TV show everyone has been raving about or writing that novel you’ve been on about for three years, it’s probably time for a change.

My change came in the form of a silicone chastity cage. I can’t say I expected much from it. After all, I’d be relying on my own Razzy-Award-winning willpower for it to have an effect. I also wasn’t fully committed to denying my orgasms but adjusting the frequency would suffice. Having done some research (again, instead of working) and spending a few days getting used to the device – which incidentally sent my libido into overdrive – I settled on the idea of using a time lock to manage the key for me.

The first few days of my not-quite-permanent lockup were probably the least productive days I’ve ever had. I did nothing. Once I’d readjusted to my new, self-imposed reality, however, there was a desirable change. By neutralising the temptation of my dick, I found myself deliberately avoiding anything that would be arousing. Moreover, I felt like I had to do something to keep my mind occupied. Due to my cage being silicone rather than metal or plastic (as preferred by the serious enthusiasts), it was flexible enough to permit a partial erection but uncomfortable enough to make that undesirable and almost impossible to do anything with it.

Over time, I changed the way I dealt with the lockups to add elements of random chance to orgasms, and it made me once again actually enjoy them when I got them. They became more of a reward for patience and discipline than a simple over-indulgent thrill.

But simply being more productive was far from the end of my journey. Another downside to limited mobility coupled with shoddy willpower is weight. I had put on an absolute shitload. As my movement had started to return, I wanted to start shedding the pounds. The problem I found was exercise is tedious, and my leg still tends to pull a hard “nope!” after a while.

I did invest in an exercise bike but just couldn’t find a way to commit to using it – until I had an epiphany. In my youth, I dated a woman who quite enjoyed giving me a good pegging from time to time. I enjoyed it myself when I got over the initial “OMG that’s my bum” fears but hadn’t really done it since. I can’t remember why I suddenly thought “What if I used a butt plug?” but I did – and fuck me, it makes using that exercise bike fun.

I eventually upgraded to a remote-controlled vibrating butt plug that lasts up to two hours on a single charge, and I use every second of it. Since my prostate is now full most of the time, the sensations as I use my bike are exquisite. Yes, I tend to have precum dripping all over the place by the time I’m done, and once or twice I have inadvertently ejaculated, but I’m now fitter than at any point in my life – even with a dodgy leg and a fondness for pizza.

Since beginning my admittedly bizarre approach to self-improvement, I’ve also grown in confidence and have recently started to date a wonderful woman who has been more than happy to embrace and involve herself in my ‘kink’, I guess you’d call it. We don’t go in for the humiliation-style play of some other couples who engage in chastity (no judgement against those who do), and I average more releases than I did when I was going solo.

I’m now happier than I have been in years, and while I wouldn’t recommend locking yourself up to everyone, I’m pretty sure that had I not done so, I would still be stuck in a pretty depressing rut.


I asked Thomas for a couple of chastity cage recommendations and he suggested the CB6000 – available from Harmony for £109.99 at the moment, down from £139.99. Or the Dominix cock cage – £34.99 here. Thomas says: “I’d say the former is best for comfort, with the exception of the ring. It’s a bit rough. The CB is pretty rigid so doesn’t allow for much growth. Can be very uncomfortable at night.” Both of these links are affiliate links, which mean if you buy cock cages (or anything) via those links I get a bit of cash to help keep this site running, and I’m much obliged to you.


  • fuzzy says:

    “When you already have an extremely high sex drive by nature, your libido morphs into an insatiable beast with an incessant need to feed.”

    -This is where i live.

    I have my own routines for self-imposed chastity just to cope; I’ve managed to sexualize tease and denial in a major way just to get through the week.

    This is an excellent post, and I am very seriously going to try the exercise thing, I have a lovely collection of butt plugs all the way up to a nearly-“nerf”-soft 3″ diameter silicone plug that puts a serious level of stimulation on my prostate. I enjoy prostate ejaculations a lot, and if I can get there from exercise it might revolutionize my fitness and my weight loss issues.

    Maybe it’s time to buy a high end revolving prostate massager to wear, hmmmmm.


  • SpaceCaptainSmith says:

    Well, this was very motivational! I don’t think I have such a high sex drive as the author, but I am a terrible procrastinator (which is why I don’t work from home myself). Perhaps these techniques might help. :)

    • Girl on the net says:

      As a freelancer who works from home, I really really empathise with the ‘inability to do anything other than wank’ thing. On days when my creative juices are flowing slowly, it’s basically ‘wank, eat biscuits, have cigarette, wank, eat biscuits, have cigarette’ until I make myself properly unhappy. But I’ve not got any creative measures to avoid any of these things, so I’m wondering if I should take a leaf out of Thomas’s book…

  • Pangolin Girl says:

    So I can claim the cost of a new vibe against tax, right? #Productivity #AllowableExpenses 😊

  • OxyfromSg says:

    As someone who was at home unemployed for 6 months, the whole “not wanting to do anything but WANK” is very familiar.

  • shelli_k18 says:

    cb6000s for 8$, holy trainer v2 mock 12$ both on or ebay.. I can understand why others wanting to try would be unsure of doling out 80$+ for a piece of plastic. you can get a 3d-printed one, which shouldn’t cost 20$, so I must say I was very happy to find cheaper prices.. I’ve been coerced asexual for 5 yrs now, but single just this past year. I agree with it, but would F*&k a porcupine if I could.. from hedonist to asexual has been a journey, and yes, most have been my own makings, but knowing that I have a cage on when I’m out and about (ok, not so much since corona) gave me pause to not flirt and humiliate me from pushing things further..

    I still enjoy alone time, but I wear it to focus, to keep myself from manhandling when alone and trying to get things done. It doesn’t always work, since I’m the keyholder.. also, wearing panties and a tight panty girdle, instead of a cage, crushes my bits up inside me and sometimes is more effective at supressing any erections..

    Now mine are cheap, the cb6000’s connections have broken 3 times just by sitting improperly. but if your on fetlife shelli_k18 has lots to show you..

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