As is now traditional, when Christmas rolls round I like to use my one superpower (being incredibly horny) to remind you about the amazing companies who help to keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. Basically what I’m about to do is give a run-down of the awesome folks who support my work here, and tease you with fun suggestions about ways to use their products/services in your own bedroom. If you’re in the market for sexy Christmas gifts – for a loved one or yourself – you should consider stealing one of my excellent horny ideas, and buying from these people who have been instrumental in bringing you the smut I churn out each year. If you aren’t in the market for them right now, then I hope you’ll read on anyway for the hot kicks and kinky tricks.
Note that all the links in this guide go to sponsor websites. I’ve given you some fun ideas of my own which feature specific products I chose cos I like the look of ’em, but anything you purchase through these links helps to support the site and keep me going.
Lovense: sound-activated sex toys
Sound-activated toys, gang. This is the number one reason why I actively pursued Lovense as a sponsor. I rarely do this, usually I wait for sponsors to approach me. But their app-enabled sex toys have a key feature that is very much my cup of tea: they’ll vibrate in response to sound. This means there are two deeply sexy and creative things you can do with them.
First, note that it doesn’t matter what your genital configuration, Lovense has toys for dicks, cunts and arses so all of us are covered. I’m going to focus on two toys here, one for prostate play and one for dicks, but browse their full selection if you’d rather try something g-spot or clit focused instead.
Sexy idea 1: audio erotica
I love the sound of my own voice, and it’s genuinely quite thrilling to learn that other people do too. If you’re a fan of the audio here on site (or audio erotica in general), you can hook your Lovense Gush 2 up to respond to the sounds you’re listening to while you wank. Close your eyes, lube up, wrap the toy around your dick, and feel the resonance of someone’s voice against your frenulum while you stroke. I am absolutely desperate for a guest blog in which someone does this – audio is already such an intimate thing, and translating that directly into sexual touch feels like one of the biggest wins that sex tech has provided so far. So if you try it, know that there’s a £40 guest blog fee waiting for you if you want to tell me all the horny details…
Sexy idea 2: moan for me
I’ve spoken before about how hot it is when men make noises for me. I don’t want to fuck someone silent, I want to hear the ‘oohs’ and ‘unnghs’ burst forth from his mouth while I ride him. And the Lovense Edge 2 adds an intriguing level of possibility to my mission to make guys louder during sex. I am obsessed with the idea of using the sound-activated feature on the app to capture the noises he makes while I ride his dick, and translate those directly to vibrations on a prostate toy that sits snugly inside his ass. More moans equals more vibration. More vibration equals even louder moans. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat, ride him till he cannot help but spunk uncontrollably into my cunt.
Check out the Lovense website for yourself if you’d like to pick something up, and keep an eye on the blog in 2026 because I think I might be able to make my ‘sound-enhanced fucking’ dreams come true…
Lovense Edge 2 – currently ON SALE for £79.
Lovense Gush 2 – currently ON SALE for £71
PleasureGarden: let me hump you like I’m desperate
There’s a new type of sex toy on the market, and I have to admit it’s got me wildly curious. I’m going to link to an example from The Pleasure Garden – a wonderful and inclusive sex toy shop that I’ve worked with for many years. They stock Banana Pants grinders, which are some of the prettiest and neatest grinders I’ve seen so far.
I’m not normally a ‘grinding’ kind of person, but in recent times – as I focus more on anticipation and touching rather than racing to penetration – I find myself dreaming a lot about frotting with someone. Specifically in a ‘denial’ context. I like the idea of somebody making me beg them for a fuck, but refusing and making me hump up against them instead like a desperate puppy.
The fact that grinders could essentially be used as a way to deny me dick has all kinds of connotations. Perhaps someone rests one on a thigh and makes me sit on them, squirming and fuckbegging in their ear as I grind my naked cunt up against the ridges and bumps of it. Perhaps they make me read them the last blog post I wrote about a time we fucked, while sitting on one of these grinders but being denied the penetration I crave. Maybe they hold one in their hand and push it firmly against me, telling me a story of their own while I whimper and fuck up against them.
If you’re into this kind of thing, check out the options on sale at the Pleasure Garden. I think I’d go for this Honeybunch one, because of the soft-curve ridges. Or browse the full site for a gorgeous selection of body safe toys promoted in an ethical and inclusive way (no gendered language, no shaming, accessibility a high priority)! It is very hard to get cut-through in the adult industry if you stick rigidly to your ethical principles (as I know too well from experience), so those shops that do deserve your love whenever you’re in the market for new sex toys.
Buy the Honeybunch grinder for £46.99, and use code GOTN10 for 10% off. Browse more grinders here, or check out other awesome products The Pleasure Garden has in stock!
Bloom Stories: fuck along with audio porn
The lovely fuckers at Bloom have been supporting my site for a while, and I am beyond delighted that I get to work with a company that also creates audio porn. They have a huge bank of stories available which spans lots of different genres, with a range of incredible people voicing them. They also have various audio guides, if you want to listen to someone talk you through the basics of sensual edging while you sensually edge yourself. NICE.
The sexy idea I have here is similar to what I think Bloom would suggest for the edging guides, but more in line with what I like to do when I’m watching porn with a partner: fucking along. I have never done this with audio erotica myself, but only because I currently lack a partner who is willing to embark on the journey with me. But I enjoy the idea of putting something smutty on the big speakers and listening to the story while you fuck, building pace and tension as the narrator speaks – maybe translating some of the sex acts they’re describing into actions if you want to. The aim wouldn’t be to copy things exactly, but simply to match the vibe.
When you’re listening to audio porn on your own, you probably find yourself involuntarily speeding up or applying more pressure when the story warrants that, so this is basically translating those actions into partnered sex. Bonus points if each of you picks a particular favourite track to add to a playlist, so you can each experience the vibe that the other person wants to conjure. As I say, I’ve not yet done this but maybe 2026 can be the year I find someone who is willing to embark on playful fucking like this with me. Applications to the usual address, etc.
In the meantime, grab a Bloom subscription if you’d like to imagine how this might work. Use the code GIRLONTHENET for bonus discounts.
WhippleTickle: hook me and fuck me
I did a whole bunch of anal play recently, which I’ll tell you about sometime soon – if only to brag that I managed to get quite a few different butt plugs in my otherwise-out-of-practice ass – all hail graded butt plugs, which allow you to build over time. But in the process of doing it, one thing really stood out to me, which is that the plug itself matters less (I think) than what you’re doing while it is inside.
The pleasure of feeling stretched and full is exceptional, for sure. And the joy of watching his cock twitch and his eyes grow wide as I let him be the one to shove the plug tight up against me, instructing me to breathe calmly and relax so he can push past the tip until the widest part of the plug slides in with a satisfying pop… that’s hot too. But for me, the most fun was had when the plug was already safely inside, and he fucked me hard and deep till my eyes rolled back and I grunted with the effort of trying to come when there seemed to be no room whatsoever for my cunt to spasm, because everything inside me was stretching far too much. It’s the decadent fullness of it, I think. It feels like the epitome of sexual greed. Unfortunately, sometimes we fuck so hard that the plug starts to slip out, which is a shame because the hard, brutal fucking is what I signed up for.
And so. The product I’m going to recommend here is one that I’m also going to immediately ask WhippleTickle to send me, in case I can use it in the future: an anal hook. The butt-plug shape on the end slides neatly into your ass, and the hook itself has a loop at the end so you can tie it to a rope (or perhaps to the silk scarves mentioned earlier, if you’re feeling sensual). I want him to put the hook inside me, and then fuck my face to warm me up. Tugging gently on the hook so that when he pulls, my throat slides further down his dick. Then I want him to pull out, letting spit drip down from my eager mouth, and place the rope between my teeth. Instructing me to bite down and hold it there, so I’m keeping the hook wedged tight and hard inside me while he rails me from behind. Ideally in front of a mirror so I can watch the drool leaking from the sides of my mouth as I grit my teeth to hold the rope in place. Compelled to take responsibility for my own humiliation.
Sorry, I’m meant to be making this about you instead of me, aren’t I? Feel free to substitute yourself and a partner in the fantasy above. And note that, at the time of writing, this anal hook costs less than twenty quid.
Buy the aluminium bondage hook for £19.99 or if you prefer a bit more heft, you can get this stainless steel anal hook for £30.99. Use code GOTN10 for 10% off.
Tabitha’s Scarves: restrain me sensually
At the moment I’m in the process of decorating my bedroom to make sure I can display all the beautiful, sexy art that I’ve collected over the years. One of the highlights of this gorgeous display is a stunning scarf designed and created by my pal Tabitha Rayne. You’ve probably heard Tabitha before if you’re a fan of the audio project, where you can listen to her gorgeous voice reading some of the incredible smut she’s written. Alongside being an absolute goddess of erotic writing, she is also an artist, and these scarves feature her beautiful sexy art as well as her words. I’m going to make a custom frame to hang one of them, then the others are going to be tied to my bedframe ready for some in-the-moment bondage whenever a hot partner proves amenable.
The restraints I usually use are quick and dirty but – as those who’ve been paying attention over the last couple of years will attest – I think these days I’ve got more of a hankering for sex that I can take my time over. Anticipation and build-up matters more to me these days, so I like the idea of someone binding my wrists or ankles with something soft, silky and beautiful then teasing the fuck out of my aching body while whispering into my ear what a good girl I am. For me, there’s also a kick of delight that I’d be tied up with something made by a friend – and Tabitha is such a phenomenal person that I imagine if you met her you’d want to be her friend too.
Sidebar anecdote about how lovely Tabitha is: initially she wanted these scarves to be made of pure silk, because luxury. Then she found out how they make silk and became so distressed about the thought of what they do to the silkworms that she spent ages researching materials that would feel similar but involve less cruelty. She’s a fucking diamond on every level.
Buy one of Tabitha’s beautiful scarves – prices start at £20, and you can use the code GOTN15 for 15% off your order. There are actually three designs, I’ve only shown you two here to tease and get you to click through to see the third.
Meo: hold that agonising position
These fabulously filthy fuckers are my go-to place when I want to conjure some properly kinky fantasies to throw into the mix in my Christmas gift guides. They sell all kinds of restraints, plugs, dildos and a huge range of sexy accessories and underwear with a big focus on men.
Today I’m dreaming of a type of restraint that comes with a side-order of taut muscles and straining agony: iron manacles. The second I saw these on the site I immediately had a fantasy about having my wrists cuffed together and being ordered to hold my hands above my head. Naked, in front of the giant mirrored wardrobe in my bedroom, feeling exposed and humiliated but simultaneously pretty powerful and sexy as I tremble and strain and do my best to position I’ve been instructed to hold, even as the iron of the wrist cuffs weighs me down. I suspect this fantasy comes at least in part because I’ve been going to the gym lately, and I love occasionally catching glimpses of my slightly-more-muscular body as I walk to the shower. Also maybe a little inspired by the Australian Survivor series I’ve been binge-watching while I’m ill, because that involves a lot of ‘immunity challenges’ where sexy people are ordered to hold positions for a long time in the hot sun to earn immunity from being kicked out of the game.
Whatever. Iron manacles have a certain something that elevates them way above any other kind of restraint. Just as beautiful silk scarves help to complement sensuality, so iron restraints help to emphasise struggle, dominance, power and endurance. Fuck yeah. For bonus points, connect the wrist cuffs via a chain to an iron collar and make me wear one of those too. Tense, sweating, aching to be given permission to drop my hands… maybe even having to keep holding them there while you finger me into coming. Unngh.
Buy iron wrist manacles for $84.09, or get ankle irons or an iron collar for $84.09 too.
Literotica: share your fantasies
Every time I write one of these guides, I struggle to come up with a new way to tell you to go check out the absolute treasure-trove of filth that’s available on Literotica. You should, because not only is there plenty there to choose from – I genuinely think there is a story to fit your kink no matter how niche your kink might be, and something that will appeal to you no matter what style of sex writing most floats your boat – but they are also absolute diamonds when it comes to supporting sex writers. They have been quietly supporting me for many years now and cheering me on whenever I get in touch, which is extremely lovely. Plus, you don’t need to buy anything, all they want you to do is click through and enjoy yourself, which is always a lovely thing for me to be able to say.
However, this year I have a genuinely new idea that I think will be super fun for some of you so let me evangelise a little. If you’re with someone who you’d like to deepen your sexual connection with, why not have a go at writing something together? Either a story that you write collaboratively (hard mode) or individual stories that you work on privately and then share? Literotica runs regular story contests, and if you’re feeling bold you and your partner might want to submit. But even if you’re too shy to submit, the contests provide useful prompts and ideas to work from.
I get a lot of questions from readers asking how they can get their partner interested in their kink, or how they can spark conversations about sex that will help them share or learn more about each other. I honestly think that writing down one’s thoughts and feelings is one of the best ways to get in touch with your own desires. The idea of subsequently sharing that with someone, and getting to hear their story in return, is massively exciting to me. I actually think the most precious gift I could ever receive would be a story that a partner had written for me about something that turns them on, or an account of a fuck we shared, and getting to read about their own emotions in that moment. Gorgeous. Give it a go.
Visit Literotica for the bargain prize of literally zero money, and check out some of their author-organised challenges here.
SexTech.co.uk: forced orgasms
Did you know that this sex toy shop is run by the same people who bring you sex tech news and updates over at SexTechGuide.co.uk? That means they know their stuff when it comes to smart sex toys in particular, as the team has plenty of experience with consumer electronics.
To be honest I could pick you almost any sex toy from their site and write a hot idea about it because they stock so much fantastic kit, but it’s been a while since I wrote about forced orgasms, so let’s have a little fun with that. Specifically with the new and improved Fleshlight Launch. Something I’m definitely going to categorise as a ‘big present’ because it comes in at £360. If you find one cheaper elsewhere, SexTech will do their best to price match it, but it’s definitely a spendy treat – for a loved one or for yourself. I think worth it though, if you like the idea of either being mechanically stroked to an explosive orgasm, or watching someone else be milked by an actual robot.
Long-time readers might remember my glee when I got my hands on the original version of the Launch. So eager was I to witness my partner being relentlessly, intensely jerked off by the rapid motion of this machine that I allowed myself to construct a very detailed fantasy about restraining his hands and shoving his dick inside it… and then spent many hours constructing an actual mount for the Launch so I could make my fantasies come true in perfect detail.
The new Launch comes with two handles, so it’s far easier to manouvre than the original one. I suspect that if you’re skilled with bondage you could potentially even use the open-grip handles as rope points to tie the toy to their waist, a much simpler version of what I did with my original, but still achieving the same aim: the object of your desire, strapped to a sleek milking machine, squirming and whimpering as it wrenches an orgasm from their cock. Stunning.
If you don’t have the cash for a machine that will do this, similar agonisingly-beautiful forced orgasms can be achieve with a standard Fleshlight, and a playlist of music that all has the same rhythm. Tie them down (or simply instruct them on pain of spanking to stay incredibly still) and slide a lubed-up Fleshlight up and down their shaft in relentless time to the music. The challenge for them is to hold off on coming for as long as they possibly can. The challenge for you is to stick to what the music dictates, refusing to go faster or harder no matter how much they might beg for release.
Buy the Fleshlight Launch for £360, or check out individual Fleshlights from around £50 at SexTech.co.uk
Doxy: come for me
Important Doxy update for those who don’t yet know: due to some problems earlier this year, the company that owned Doxy went into administration. To say this upset me is an understatement – Doxy is one of the sex toy industry stalwarts, and a company that has always been relentlessly supportive of sex bloggers. They sponsored Eroticon every year when it was running, and they’ve been a long-term sponsor here on the site too. The bad news is that it was a big challenge for the lovely folks who work there, the good news is that they have got things back under control and are relaunching as Doxy 2.0 so at some point in the future there should be exciting new stuff to share with us all.
In the short term, though, there is likely to be a Doxy shortage in the early part of 2026. And for fuck-hungry slags like me, that is a pretty devastating thing. Second only to that weird bit of Covid when everyone went off the rails and started buying toilet roll by the truckload. Anyway. If you’re gonna go overbuying anything, make it Doxy products as stock is currently limited.
For this guide I’m going to recommend the Doxy Go, and the fantasy here is devastatingly simple: I want to get someone to hold themselves inside me really hard and really still, like he’s just providing a rock-solid cock for me to take my pleasure out on, and simultaneously hold a Doxy Go to the perfect spot on the left-hand side of my clit. Then, I want him to open his mouth and let out a stream of dirty talk, calling me a filthy fucking girl and a desperate bitch as I fuck/hump/grind out my way to an orgasm. No physical help from him, just leaning in to the beautiful hotness of being able to talk me into coming.
Buy the Doxy Go for £59.99, and use the code GOTN15 for 15% off and free shipping in certain countries. Check out what other stock Doxy has left here too.
That’s your lot for this year, folks! Please do click the links and check out the awesome sponsors who help to support my site – you’ll definitely hear more about some of these products and companies in the new year as I have a couple of super fun ideas for ways to play with their toys. I understand that not everyone has the spare cash for sex toys and porn at the moment, so even if you can’t buy now, please do bookmark your favourites and consider treating yourself or a loved one if you have the money in the new year.
In the meantime, I will continue to feed you horny little stories in the hope that they will inspire you to go and have the kind of sex that makes you and your partners tingle with anticipatory delight. The world is a bit rubbish right now, but every new idea shared or fantasy articulated is an extra spark of joy to bring some light – so share yours too when you can!