Guest blog: A love letter to Tenga

From left to right: Tenga Flip Hole Zero EV, Tenga Flex, Tenga 3D spiral, Tenga original vacuum cup (still in its packaging), Tenga Air Tech strong (unwrapped)

I’m a big fan of masturbation sheaths – the squishy, textured, beautiful toys that you can use to add extra sensation to a dick-focused wank. I’ve written a lot about them here in the past, including a piece about one of the very best: the Tenga Flip Hole Zero EV (crap name, brilliant toy). I’ve also had guest writers extol the virtues of Tenga here too, most notably in this piece by Luke about the standard Tenga Flip Hole. This week’s post is a lot more personal, though, and I’m really honoured that today’s anonymous guest has chosen to share his story here. If you’re interested in trying out these kinds of toys, I hope his experience can give you a nudge in the direction of prioritising your pleasure: he’s written a beautiful love letter to Tenga.

A love letter to Tenga

The story starts when my wife told me that she might possibly be somewhere on the asexual spectrum, and that she wanted some space to process her feelings about sex and physical intimacy.

I had a lot of awkward feelings to process in response to that too. Mostly fear and uncertainty about the future. Would our marriage collapse? Would I grow to resent my marriage? Would everyone hate me for being into sex more than is considered reasonable and polite? Also, what does it say about the sex my wife and I had in the past?

After a couple of weeks of simmering with these thoughts I came across a clickbaity blog post that ranted about how men are shamed for owning sex toys. I googled the brands mentioned in that post. Cobra Libre, Fleshlight, Tenga. At first I didn’t understand the products on the Tenga webpage. Was it yet another magic-wand style vibrator? Suddenly I had an epiphany: ooh, there’s an opening at the bottom. It’s a penis toy. It’s meant to be something one can penetrate with a penis.

That night when I finally fell asleep I dreamed of masturbating with a Tenga. The next day I cut my work hours short, I was on a quest. Ordering from the official webstore was out of the question — two days to wait for a package?! On eBay there was one seller with a good selection of products available for local pickup in my city. I chose a Tenga Egg Spider and clicked ‘buy it now’. The provided address was in a residential area, not far from where my children went to school. Some guy ran a small online shop out of his garage. When I got there, he was just about to leave the house. He ran back inside to fetch my Tenga, while his wife strapped their baby into a car seat. I did not expect that buying my first sex toy would include making small talk about babies.

For the rest of the day the toy was burning a hole in my pocket. I had to wait til the evening. Once the kids were in their beds I finally had time to take a shower, i.e. hide in the bathroom and have some privacy for experiments. Lock the door. Tear the shrink-wrap packaging. Open the outer shell. A milky-white, soft, wobbly shape appears. Carefully apply lube from the attached packet. The lube has an unfamiliar chemical smell but…

This felt really good.

The material was very thin and more stretchy than I could ever imagine. The ergonomics still felt similar to masturbating with my bare hand — the same movement so many people are familiar with — only it was so much more, with the toy distributing pressure and pleasurable sensation all over my penis. I stroked myself, fascinated by how easily the Egg stretched and slid. I came very quickly and then examined the feeling of lube on the skin of my penis.

After taking an actual shower, my nominal excuse for staying in the bathroom, I felt my dick getting hard again. I used the Egg once more, since I already had it right there anyway. Who cares that technically Tenga Eggs are meant to be single-use items? The first time I just got carried away with the new pleasurable sensations, but this time I allowed myself to be slower and more deliberately playful.

Tenga treated me with kindness when my relationship with my wife was going through a big change and I was feeling particularly vulnerable and insecure about my sexuality. They didn’t judge my circumstances, and they didn’t try to impose any vision of how my sex life should look, who I should aspire to fuck, what my body should look like, or anything like that. When I discovered Tenga products, I felt safe, understood and accepted.

Tenga has been in my life ever since that first time I awkwardly hid in the bathroom. I have a penis, I am interested in experiencing sexual pleasure, and Tenga is there for me. Even as I write this blog, there’s a Tenga Spinner, the recently released special soft edition, next to my keyboard. And I’m still happily married to my ace wife.

Note from GOTN: this isn’t a sponsored post and I’m not receiving any money from Tenga or anyone else to post it, though it does contain affiliate links – if you buy through the links on this page I’ll get a small cut of the money, which helps to keep this site running. All recommendations are the writer’s own, though you can find some recommendations from me plus any discount codes on the sex toys page

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.