How to wank with a Doxy (or other wand toy)

Image by the brilliant Stuart F Taylor

This post has been writing itself in my head for approximately six years – ever since I got my hands on my first ever Doxy. Back then it was called a ‘Doxy Massager’ and the packaging it came in was delightfully coy, as if this toy would be used to massage anything other than one’s sexy bits. Since then it has become a bit of a sex toy sensation, and is thankfully now sold under the slogan ‘Let’s get it on’ so there is no doubt about the fact that this toy fucks. To celebrate the launch of their latest model – the first ever cordless Doxy 3 rechargeable (which is brilliant), I thought I’d finally finish the guide I’ve been writing in my head ever since I got my hands on the first one. Here’s a bunch of different ways you can wank with a Doxy.

If you have a Doxy wanking technique I haven’t included in this extensive list, or a question about how to wank with a Doxy that I haven’t answered, please feel free to chip in below the line and help me make this the most comprehensive Doxy wanking guide of all time.

You can buy anything on their website for 15% off plus free shipping if you use the code GOTN15

How many different Doxy wands are there?

At the time of writing, there are four main types of Doxy wand, plus a couple of extra-fancy versions which are variations on the Doxy Die Cast.

  • The Doxy original: plastic body, medical-grade PVC head, corded power tool of epic proportions. [37cm long, head 6cm in diameter]
  • The Doxy Die Cast: metal body, silicone head, corded power tool etc etc. [37cm long, head 6cm in diameter]
  • The Doxy Die Cast fancy fuckers: there’s one with a gold collar which looks exceptionally classy and retails for £199 and another which is entirely gold-plated and comes in a walnut case and costs £10,000. I don’t own either of these because I am not so much a ‘fancy’ person as a ‘fancy a pint and a wank’ kind of person. The links are there if you’re fancier than I am, though. [37cm long, head 6cm in diameter]
  • The Doxy 3: metal body, silicone head, corded power tool in the style of the Die Cast but smaller and lighter. [28cm long, head 4.5cm in diameter]
  • The Doxy 3 rechargeable: like the Doxy 3, but without the cord, so you can take it on adventures to places you don’t have easy access to a plug socket. [28cm long, head 4.5cm in diameter]

Where to place the Doxy

Over your labia

The Doxy is a powerful tool, and personally my favourite Doxy wanks involve grinding the toy into my crotch but crucially never making direct contact between Doxy and clit. Instead, I hold the Doxy so that the side of the head touches the outer side of my labia, and press it there firmly. The rumbly vibrations travel through the labia and down to the clit, but the head can be moved around on top of your pubic mound and used with varying degrees of pressure. This technique means I don’t need to use lube (time-saving and efficient) because the Doxy never comes into direct contact with my wet bits, and it also means I can really press good and hard with the head, highlighting the deeper rumbles of the toy rather than the surface-level vibrations.

This is my favourite way to wank with a Doxy – I turn it to a deep pulse setting (more on the pulse setting later) and grind it onto the outside of my body, trusting that the intense depth of the vibrations will travel down through my labia, and my clit, and throb around the whole of my crotch/bum/hip region without the need for direct clitoral contact.

Best Doxy for this:

The Doxy original (£89.99, use code GOTN15 for 15% off plus free shipping)

I know it’s weird for me to recommend the cheapest Doxy here, but honestly something about the weight and the head of the original Doxy makes it perfect for this kind of wank.

Between your labia, directly on your clit

This is the most direct way to use the Doxy, and it is very intense indeed. I mostly use this technique if I’m fucking, because getting fucked usually requires me to have my legs open so my boyfriend can make space to jam himself inside, so my labia will naturally be open and more direct access to the clit isn’t just possible but inevitable.

With this technique, I find using a slightly lower setting and adding spit lube gets the best results, and it helps to place the head of the Doxy not quite on the clit/clitoral hood, but ever so slightly above it. Again, this prevents direct clit-toDoxy contact and allows the powerful vibrations to travel – rumbling down and through my clit rather than thrilling it directly.

Best Doxy for this:

The Doxy 3 or Doxy 3R – both have a smaller head which means they are much easier to insert between your body and someone else’s if you’re having partnered sex. I’ve written about the Doxy 3 before, and the 3R is also excellent – essentially the same in body size, head size, and (I think) ability-to-get-me-to-come, with the key difference that it’s rechargeable so you can also take it on picnics.

With a barrier between your body and the Doxy

This technique was first introduced to me by a good mate who explained that you can also use the Doxy through some sort of barrier – like a towel – if you struggle with the intensity of the rumbles. While I’ve never actually used the towel technique, many’s the afternoon I’ve treated myself to a speedy Doxy wank through jeans and knickers, because I’m a very lazy busy girl and I don’t always have time to take my clothes off properly.

Best Doxy for this:

The Doxy original (again). Seriously, the head of the original (which is medical grade PVC rather than silicone like the Doxy Die Cast heads) is way easier to slip and slide over skin and fabrics without lube.

On the underside of the head of your dick

Again, I haven’t tried this myself because I don’t have a dick. But I donated my Doxy Die Cast to a good friend of mine who not only has a dick but plays with lots of other people who do, and I am reliably informed that pressing the head of the Doxy against the underside of the head of your dick gives exceptional sensations, and can occasionally lead to people spaffing with satisfying power and force.

Best Doxy for this:

The Doxy Die Cast, or Doxy 3/3R. The reason for this is that they all have silicone heads, and with the judicious application of a bit of lube, those heads slide beautifully over the soft skin of a well-turned-out boner.

If you’d like something more all-encompassing, check out the dick-sheath attachment for the Doxy 3, which you can lube up and slide over the head so you get those lovely rumbles all over.

Against the base of a butt plug or dildo

Butt plugs generally – even the decent vibrating ones – don’t manage to match up to the rumbly power of the Doxy wand vibe. But frankly that doesn’t matter, because the vibrations travel really nicely through other materials. I quite like pairing the Doxy wand with one of the metal Doxy butt plugs, allowing the thuddy power of the vibes to travel up through the metal and inside my actual body. I also quite like pulling the Doxy away from my clit right at the end of a wank, when I have a dildo pounding my g-spot, and pressing the thrumming head against the shaft of the dildo just as the waves start to crash: the intensity of a vaginal clench around a g-spot dildo is ramped up exponentially if that dildo is also thudding like a jackhammer.

If you have a prostate, give it a go with a butt plug of your own or a prostate massager, and see if you can jizz high enough that you need to wipe down the ceiling afterwards.

Thanks to YellowSun who pointed out in the comments this can be also done with an anal hook!

Best Doxy for this:

Literally any of them, although if you buy the Doxy 3 or the brand new rechargeable Doxy 3R, you can also buy special attachments – like a rabbit vibe or a prostate massager – that will directly channel the sensations into your ass/cunt.

Wank with a Doxy: side-on or center?

The intriguing thing about wand toys is that the sensation of using one can be very different depending on which part of the toy you’re pressing against your body. I think there are three different spots on the head of a Doxy toy which give qualitatively different sensations when you wank: the lower side (1), the center of the head (2), or the upper side (3). I have drawn a high-quality diagram below so you can see what I’m talking about, feel free to print out out and Blu-Tack it to the wall above your bed if you want to try for yourself:

Image of silhouette of a Doxy head with bottom of left side marked '1', top center of head marked '2' and top right of head marked '3'

Image by me, and yes I know it’s terrible.

Position 1 is the way I often start off – it’s a slightly gentler sensation because (I think) more of the weight of the motor is located at the top of the Doxy head. Position 1, pressed gently to the outer labia, is how I would generally start if I were using the Doxy on someone for the first time and wanted to test out how much they liked it, moving around through other positions based on what they told me to do or what squeaking noises they made.

Position 2 is the way that other people tend to automatically use the toy on me – perhaps because humans naturally gravitate towards symmetry and neatness, so the centre of the head feels like the right way to start. But the centre of the head gives (I think) a more surface-level vibration than the side, and so I think in using it like this they lose a lot of the rumbly power for which Doxy is so well known.

Personally, my favourite position is number 3 – just at the top of the head, but crucially on the side. The Doxy works with a weighted motor, and it’s the movement of this weighted, off-centre motor that allows it to thump and thud so delightfully. Using position 2, the weighted thump is more equally distributed and so you don’t get the same kind of impact from it, whereas positions 1 and 3 are perfect for ensuring that the off-balance weight delivers an almost oscillating thump directly to the place you need it most.

I’m getting too technical here, aren’t I? I’d advise you to skip this bit if it doesn’t make sense, but I’ve finished it already so you can relax. Onto pulse settings…

To pulse or not to pulse?

All Doxy toys come with a ‘pulse’ setting alongside the usual ‘continuous’ mode. I used to be a straight-to-max continuous vibration kind of girl, but the Doxy has converted me and now I like the pulse mode best. Which is a very mild way of putting it – I like the ‘pulse’ mode in the same way as I ‘like’ macaroni cheese i.e. there are certain circumstances in which I would actually run marathons for it.

The pulse mode, instead of giving you constant vibrations, will instead deliver a solid whirr that gradually increases in power, over the course of a few seconds, followed by a thump of intensity and a brief pause, before starting up with that whirr again.

It feels and sounds a little bit like this: vvvvrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR THUD *silence*

Evocative, I know. I’m great with words, this is my literal job.

That delightful thud at the end is what it’s all about, in my humble opinion: like the drop or the break or whatever you call it in dance music when the entire crowd raises their hands, sweaty and eager and clamouring for more, and there’s this brief heartbeat of anticipation before it thumps right in and everyone starts bouncing as one. Beautiful.

The pulse mode will feel different depending on which Doxy you’re using. That lovely THUD at the end of each pulse will be more intense if the toy is heavier (Die Casts are the heaviest) and if you have the pulse on a lower setting which gives you a longer period of vvvvrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR during which to anticipate that life-giving THUD. Whether you go for pulsing or continuous is, obviously, up to you, but if you’ve only ever tried it on continuous so far I’d recommend you give the ‘pulse’ setting a test drive just in case.

Best positions in which to wank with a Doxy

Lying on back, jeans round ankles

This is my standard, go-to classic, and it’s how 95% of my Doxy wanks have been had. On my back I can angle the Doxy exactly how I like, and do that thing where I move it around in time to the pulse setting, ensuring that the delicious THUD falls in just the right place. Also, I am lazy.

Lying on your front, grinding forward against it

Great for hands-free wanks, and fantasies which involve someone pushing my face into the pillow and fucking me relentlessly until they fill me with come.

NEW: Sitting with it jammed between the sofa cushions

This excellent suggestion was added in the comments – big thanks to Sara Cane for the tip!

“One option for is sticking it between two sofa seat cushions. I tend to have something else (memory foam or whatever) on the underside so that I can angle it correctly without it moving about two much. This is also good for a type of wank I enjoy where you make the lightest of contact. Really good for some self-teasing.”

Standing up

I cannot come when I’m standing up, and frankly I am in awe at all of you who can. Report back to me on this, please, especially if there are any particularly good ‘standing’ positions in which to wank with a Doxy.

Sitting on it on a chair

Again, great for hands free, although if you’re doing this you probably want a fairly big chair so the Doxy doesn’t fall off – ideally a bench you can straddle with both legs so you can ride the Doxy without worrying that it’s going to fall off the front of the chair.

On a box that you straddle

Yet again Sara Cane delivers an incredible addition to this guide:

“In bed, popping it on a narrow box. Cardboard is best as metal tends to get a rather loud rattle going. Weight the box down so it doesn’t move at the worst times and use some tape to hold the wand in place. An alternative to weighting the box down is to throw a blanket over it and then use your legs on each side of the blanket to hold it in place but you need to be careful that the wand doesn’t start overheating/transferring heat into the blanket. Safety first!”

Sara, I salute you. And everyone else, go check out Sara’s blog!

Any position you like, but tied up

Whether you’re applying the head of the Doxy to someone’s dick or someone’s clit, there are dozens of different ways to get them in bondage that will allow you easy access to their junk. I have rarely ever done orgasm control play with a Doxy, mainly because it’s quite tricky for me to hold off from coming if someone’s applying it directly to my clit, but I understand that for many people who have more self control than I do, Doxy is one of the best toys for orgasm control for exactly this reason – it can be applied swiftly and firmly to turbo-charge someone’s time to come, then removed equally swiftly at the moment they start making that ‘oh fuck I’m about to tip over’ face.

 

If you have other techniques for Doxy wanking, please do leave them in the comments below! Doxy sponsor my site and gave me all my Doxys for free because they’re nice like that – they even once sent me an extra one for a friend who was going through a hard time, and she loves it as much as I love mine. The good people at Doxy tell me I don’t have to write reviews, which is kind of them because I suck at reviewing, but I want to write something because I think Doxy’s are fucking excellent and I want the whole world to know. 

Here are some of my past posts on the original Doxy, Doxy Skittle (now called the Doxy Don), Doxy butt plugs and the Doxy 3.

You can buy anything on their website for 15% off plus free shipping if you use the code GOTN15, and if you do that you’re supporting my site and my work, for which I am incredibly grateful.

13 Comments

  • Yellow Sun says:

    A variant of your butt plug idea: apply the Doxy to the external bit of an anal hook.

  • Prudence says:

    I treated myself to a Doxy when my husband left, and it’s been an excellent replacement :D

    This post is making me feel like I have a lot more Doxy adventures to be having! I’ve very much been ‘lie on my back and turn it up to eleven’ so far.

    • Girl on the net says:

      I am so glad you’re having fun with yours! I was totally a ‘lie on my back and turn it to 11’ kinda person too, then I discovered the pulse mode and that is now my dearest fave. Have fun =)

      • Yellow Sun says:

        I also never thought to try different areas of the head, so now that is very much on my “To Do(xy)” list :-)

  • pinkgilly15 says:

    So…read this, reaching for Doxy 1 now rumbles play on pulse it is.. also I can’t come standing up either would love to read more from those that can. This post is everything. I bought my Doxy after first discovering your blog it was about a year or so before iafe the investment. What an investment it was , life changing.

    • Girl on the net says:

      ‘Life changing’ is right for me too =) I’m so glad I could introduce you to the joy that is Doxy! Here’s to many more years of fun with it!

  • Vicuña Mackena says:

    FInally!! The HOW TO we were all waiting for. <3 Must say that I need to also explore the pulse mode, and applying it to a butt plug, thanks for the recommendation.

    The moment my BF bought the Die Cast 3 was a turning point in my sexual life. We even call it Wandy, and it travels with me everywhere I go. Since we are in a LDR, your post (and discount code, let's be honest) has inspired me to get the Die Cast 3R and then have one Wandy on each house. Less weight on my backpack ;-) And I also got the p-spot attachment, can't wait to apply some vibration to that hungry hole of his.

  • Sara says:

    Being the massive lazy-arse that I am, and liking to play with my nipples, I personally favour hands-free approaches though I don’t like being face down so the grinding thing is out for me.

    I’ve not used a Doxy but have used other wands (so much I may have burned out several motors… fml). One option for is sticking it between two sofa seat cushions. I tend to have something else (memory foam or whatever) on the underside so that I can angle it correctly without it moving about two much. This is also good for a type of wank I enjoy where you make the lightest of contact. Really good for some self-teasing. :)

    In bed, popping it on a narrow box, cardboard is best as metal tends to get a rather loud rattle going. Weight the box down so it doesn’t move at the worst times and use some tape to hold the wand in place.

    An alternative to weighting the box down is to throw a blanket over it and then use your legs on each side of the blanket to hold it in place but you need to be careful that the wand doesn’t start overheating/transferring heat into the blanket. Safety first!

    I can come standing up, but it takes longer. Do this sometimes when my GF has me restrained but standing up isn’t a wank I do on my own.

    • Girl on the net says:

      You, Sara, are a genius. Both of these are amazing tips and I really want to try the box one … *make a note to find a good box* I’ve added them both to the guide along with a link to your blog. YOU ROCK! <3

      • Sara says:

        Aww, thank you! You are most kind :)

        Unrelated to wands, but in the same area, I’ve found the “stuck between sofa seat cushion” thing also works nicely for thrusting dildos… use a couple of normal cushions or pillows under your butt-cheeks/thighs, and you can get a nice little bounce going. It’s like a workout that gets you off!

  • Syra says:

    I’ve only just realised that I no longer have any reason for ‘oh no I mustn’t!’ feelings about commenting on sex blogs. I’m 25 for goodness sake. But yeah! 15% off is a lot with pricey toys! You can get a Doxy Original for 75 squids if you use GOTN’s discount. Doooooo it. You know you want to. (But like… don’t get yourself into sex toy debt and make sensible financial decisions too… this is the good kind of peer pressure).

    • Girl on the net says:

      Hi Syra, I’ve deleted a little bit of your comment because I think it might get me in trouble. Sorry for being a wuss, and thank you for your support! xx

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