Have you ever fantasised about being rescued by a hero? Wanted to be the damsel in distress? Sidenote: there is apparently no gender-neutral term for ‘damsel’ and I would love to create one, because I bet this kink is shared by people of other genders too! Today’s guest blogger is Lex (@LexusRanger), and she is here to talk to you about the appeal and complexity of having a damsel in distress kink…
Note that this piece talks about struggling/fighting – it’s all within the boundaries of consensual role play.
Rescue me! My damsel in distress kink
It could be seen as the cliché story. The heroine being held captive by the bad guy, the hero running in, defeating the bad guy and whisking the heroine back to live happily ever after. I’ve been a fan of this story since days watching Disney. However, as I got older, my desire for happily ever after became a desire for something a little more carnal.
Now, when I imagine being rescued, I picture being taken back by the hero and claimed at his. After a gripping and nail biting battle with the enemy, he pulls me into his arms and carries me back to his bedroom. Once there, he ensures I am unhurt, his hands caressing over my body, checking for any injury. All the while, he is murmuring words of comfort. Once he is satisfied that there is no injury, his eyes meet mine and that is when the temperature hikes a few degrees. What was once concern for my well-being becomes lust-filled passion. A growl rumbles as he says “You’re mine.” Then kisses me. Pinning me to the bed, his mouth exploring my body occasionally he bites hard enough to leave marks. He is marking me, claiming me.
He has rescued me and now he will make me his. This is where things can go one of two ways. It’s either being pulled up and mercilessly fucked against the wall until he’s growling my name and promising me that no-one will ever hurt me again. Or, he is on top of me, spreading my legs with his knee while his hands pin my wrists above my head. He thrusts hard, ensuring that I know the power he wields. When he cums inside me, it is the ultimate sign of possession. I am his and he is mine. Truth be told, this is a fantasy I go to frequently.
When I started looking into this, I found myself googling one night and came across an article on Psychology Today by Mary C. Lamie Ph.D called “The White Knight Syndrome”, which listed the different types of rescued individual. It soon became apparent that this wasn’t what I was looking for, but there were some fascinating insights which led me down the rabbit hole to reading more psychology articles. I highly recommend it if you can’t sleep. Interesting reading.
That being said, I am not spending my days hanging out my window like a red-headed Rapunzel waiting for Flynn Rider to climb up my hair and show me his freaky smoulder. I am also not the type of woman who would just do as my captor tells me. I’d put up a fight. I know right? Worst damsel ever. But I wanted to know how to raise this with a future partner. While some may go down the ‘honesty is the best policy’ route, exactly how do you tell someone you want to role-play them rescuing you and then claiming you?
What’s the appeal of being rescued?
Recently, I got to thinking about whether or not this is a common kink. I say kink as it appeals to me the same way bondage, spanking etc does. However, there appears to be a severe lack of information on it. I started to worry if I was completely alone. So I reached out on a Discord server for erotic audio creators and was thrilled to see that I wasn’t the only person who enjoyed this. One source stated “For me personally, it’s less about the rescuing part and more about the being claimed part.” While another stated “I mean, it’s also hot when someone fights for you. Having someone willing to put a bad guy in their place and make sure you’re OK is a thought that makes me all hot and bothered.”
While it doesn’t involve sex, there are a large number of ASMR role-play audios on YouTube that feature the listener being rescued. Whether it’s from a villain or from a dangerous situation, others involve a listener being lost and found then cared for. Quite a few of them involve vampires rescuing their lover and biting them as a claim. I have to admit, I have listened to some of these in my need for that sort of attention. Although there is a huge part of me that wishes it would go that little bit further and add in some NSFW. However I doubt YouTube would be a fan of that.
If you feel that this is something you want to explore, don’t be afraid to. When I first started thinking about it, I was worried that having a damsel in distress kink was weird and something that I shouldn’t want. But as with a lot of kinks, so long as it is safe, sane and consensual, you should be fine. That being said, if you are going to partake in a scenario, please make sure that you have set ground rules and know your safe words. I cannot stress this enough. Safety is the number one rule that should be non negotiable.